December 15, 2020
I'm trying not to be upset about this but I can't. I can try to blame it on my period but I have this conflict every year.
Da just informed me that he has like a billion and seven things he has to do before he can see me on my birthday.
I shouldn't be upset. I know the world doesn't revolve around me. I've known that for a very long time. He's had his traditions long before he met me and he can't just drop everything because of me. We've only been together for 3 months as of today, anyway.
But god my birthday is so hard every year. I've always felt so fucking lonely on my birthday. I've absolutely never had a birthday party on my actual birthday and even when I do have them several days before, hardly anyone would ever show up.
I really can't be upset though. Da is still going to come. Just not until maybe 4pm though...
And yet I'm here crying anyway when I shouldn't be. I'm not going to tell him about this. I don't want him to feel guilty or anything. It's not his fault anyway.
And we plan on seeing each other for 3 days (29th-31st) in a hotel so for real I really shouldn't be upset.
But I am.
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