October 12, 2020
So i was trolling the internet and i started looking at images of her and they weren't that flattering and it turned me off. I can't believe how shallow i am and now I'm not thinking of her nearly as much which leads me to believe that crushes are one sided.
I don't even get to fucking talk to her anymore because of this shit COVID.
A year ago we were getting close but no fucking cigar. Life is just on hold now until when? No one fucking knows!😰😰😰😰😰
Seems like I'm losing hope and getting anxious. Maybe i should have a drink later to chill the fuck out and a nice bubble bath. Shit i wish i had a fucking hottub so bad I'm sure that would help like big-time with my stress and anxiety and restlessness.
I hate how selfish and fickle i am. I hate how shallow and hollow I've become.