Dear Diary, I did meet with Belle again, I just couldn't help it. I just accepted that there is probably never going to be anything between us. It's really sad, but I don't want to lose her as a friend. I will probably still think about her as a potential partner (and write about her here), but please don't judge me. Writing the truth here is very important to me.
To be honest the main reason was that I was really hungry 😅 I didn't eat much the last few days, because I was feeling so down and didn't feel like cooking much.
She seemed to really need company too, it seemed like. As always she changed her opinions every 2 minutes abput what she wanted to eat, but we finally settled on thai. But afterwards we also shared a pizza, because she wanted to show me her favorite pizza place.
That was nice, but afterwards she sent me the synopsis of a movie we had seen a poster of. It turned out it was about a american girl who has to travel on her own to a different state to get an abortion.
I said that it is a hot topic in the US and also tried to explain what the new vacant seat in the supreme court could mean for abortion rights there. Naturally I assumed we were on the same page.
But it turned out she was anti-abortion and we had a whole discussion about it. She can have her own opinion about it of course, but it was so weird to hear her call abortion murder. Personally I think every woman (or queer person who is pregnant) can decide for themselves what is gonna happen to their bodies and I think thqt most younger people here in Germany think that way, which made it even stranger.
Another thing I wanted to write about is a profile I saw on Tinder today. I know I wanted to delete that garbage app, but I can't just throw away any little chance of finding someone, how tiny it might be.
It is very rare that I see a profile on Tinder that truely wows me, but this one did. It was this super normal looking girl who had just two selfies of herself where she didn't pose much. Most women make these modellike photos of themselves where they pose with a lot of makeup in front of some fancy background. And don't get me wrong that is fine, they can do what they like. But it makes them so unrelatable to me.
A girl who does not have these elaborate photos is instantly interesting to me. And then she also had a lengthy descripription where she actually talks avout herself and also shows weaknesses. It was so extremely sympathetic.
She wrote that she feels lonely, just wants friends and is very sensitive. And she said that she knows that she isn't very pretty (which is wrong, I don't know why she would think that) Also that she is queer and bisexual, which seems a bit irrelevant if she is looking for friends.
My only regret is that I didn't give her a super like. I always feel like that comes on too strong especially on a girl like her who seems very shy. But it probably would have been better.
I hope so much that she likes me back. It is very unlikely since I get likes so rarely... but please!!!! She only wants friends I know, but even as her friend I would be happy and maybe ot could become more of she liked me.
Wow I have never thought about a random Tinder profile so much 😂
Take care!