August 18, 2020

 

Dear Diary,


Why do i keep torturing myself? I keep asking my boyfriend questions that I know the answers will hurt me. I want the answers tho. If I don't know the answers it will drive me crazy. I found out today he has better conversations with complete strangers than he does me. Yeah i get it, its probably me. Its my fault. My whole situation is my fault. Him cheating is bc i didnt show him enough love, or I bitched to much, or I wasnt active enough or something. I wasnt doing good somewhere. But he won't tell me where. He just keeps saying its his fault. Obviously I did something for you to wanna go seek out other females. I wasnt good enough for him. I wasnt enough he needed more. Today I sat in my room an cried for like 10 min straight and for a second I literally had a moment where I couldn't breathe it was so miserable.  Im so tired of crying. When will this stop...

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