Dear Diary,
I did take a short nap but im physically way too uncomfortable. I just got back from another hospital. This time its fucking amazing! Fuck Ive been going to therapy for so many years, but now, it's like I can finally laugh for real, and I can let everyone in on the joke
Sure 7 hills looks prettier on the outside,
It has more money,
It has a soda machine and its very clean, but I was actually there and it was literally hell for my veterans. You all keep telling me this is not that great, but from my perspective, do you see all this damn love????
Yeah, thats what makes this special no matter how "ugly or dirty", there is too much love all around me, and its so mind blowing. I want to stay, but right now I need to fucking move around and sing, express all these raw emotions. The problem is, this isnt a mental problem, this is physical problem, this doctor is so nice, but I know I need to get treatment from a medical doctor cuz my body really fucking hurts and I dont know why?
Oh yeah
I hate this
Hi doctor
You need to inspect my body to help
And do a blood test and I need to give you permission
Can I please just close my eyes and talk shit
Sure, I get it, there's bruises on your body and you don't want to look. I promise if you just trust me on this, I can do it without making you look, after all, you have all these women here praying for you. Focus on them not me.
Ok fine
Lets get this overwith damn thanks
For caring so damn much lol Im just glad its over and we can move on.
Ok so its cuz anemia
Malnourished
Hormonal imbalance
Age
Really girl its a lot, how did this happen and have you fainted yet?
Well, lol 2020, coronavirus
Um, weve barely have enough money to live so ramen noodled every night diet, but it doesnt matter cuz that unemployment check just came in and its a lot, cuz you were forced to wait for 5 whole months.
Sorry, I didnt mean to laugh but you made this so simple for me, but I know its going to be really hard. Just give it a few days and I promise you'll feel better by next week.
Ok, so liquid diet of gatorade and ensure with some vitamins. Try to eat a little because pills suck without food, but you feel like your body is going to reject it, just stop and drink some water and find a way to keep it down
Ok I can handle that
Cool, btw I need a literal shit report twice a day cuz you really need some iron....
Wait, did you just say I need to talk about my shit, in detail, in public??? Why??
Well, um, if it is working, its going to be so damn disgusting to you
But to me, since Im a doctor, I get to say thank god its so gross that means this is working and your ganna be just fine..
Ok...
Ill trust you because your are a doctor but I dont like this
Ok
I promise, every time you have to describe it, someone is going to say thanks for that disgusting imagery, your the best! Good job, I really am so proud of you for giving me the details.
Well
I dont know if thats better or worse cuz either way how embarrassing.
Well try to look at it like this
We deal with shit all the time, bad shits suck because we havent figured out how to help yet, but if its the right shit,
I get to save a life today
Wow
What an intense perspective...i think I want to be grateful, but right now its just too weird because I can't talk about it to you directly cuz your busy
Instead, your ganns have to tell a different cute nurse twice a day. Damn, ok, Ill say words but Ill just pretend I dont have eyes
Lol you do that
Lol thanks doctor
Its a week later and you were right
I do feel a lot better
Thanks for getting me to the point where I can do this by myself. Im still uncomfortable, but you gave me great medical advice
Now Im going to get a degree in public and community health
Because in 6 months, if I am all better, I get a shot at my dream job. A recreational therapist in a safe place that cares in the year 2020.
Ok,
Im going to take care of myself and listen to both body and emotions, while caring for my 7 fur babies, shit too much too fast
Focus on making yourself comfortable first until the pain is gone. Wow, you don't have kids but I can already see that you would make such a great mom if you ever wanted that for yourself
Wow
Im blushing too hard
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Thanks for everything, I wont forget your name