August 16, 2020

 

Dear Diary,


Shhhhh


Sgt noe


I cant let you go right now


I cant move on


I remember the day I caught you singing a love song...


You got so shy and red


And all i think is damn


Why is this so hot 



IS THIS A REALITY WHERE I KNOW

I can see him smile again somehow


He doesnt really have to notice me or anything 


Just im in a psychward im happy somehow becuase oops somehow I swear I saw my favorite ghost 


And I keep saying his name ad loud as I want and no one really cares im just crazy right?


Crazy cuz i never got to say it clearly


We speak the same language even though I know he's not really here



Instead of being a real goodbye


Hmmm


Hit me with your best shot

15 shots


More drugs


Song 52 shut the fuck up about sgt noe?


I cant these veterans keep asking about him

Even though my thought is so fucking sore 


I just somehow got ahold of this book


Its too fucking cute and girly I want to puke



I cant stop reading


Cuz i remember you telling me about this book



And its called princess bride



Is it finally really safe to admit that 


Why do I love this book?


Cuz I can finally say it


You are too hot to handle with care

Cease fire?


This is just a book right???


Well see know I have a lot of books 



That somehow prove we both existed at the same time just in the wrong reality


Why???


Cuz you are dangerously hot and so irreplaceable even after all these years.



You were right books are better


Is it really safe for me to finally say your name and admit you were real? How did I get so lucky with all these fucking books?


Can I really say your name and my perfect wish at the same time?


Fuck it,

Who's ready to peak at these books with me?


I mean, I just met four people with your last name. I met the first 2 years ago in a psychward 


Then again I smiled and said your name


2 years later im in a psychward again because I met 3 people with your last name at once this time


Is it safe to share my memories of you? 


I'm just here laughing because I met four noes


Even though I can't deny the family resemblance 


The closest one that winked at me on accident...who is married btw, didnt mean anything trying to be nice....

I'm asking for his name cuz why is he imitating my captain America? I feel so bad because because if he catches this look


He either sees me laugh or cry cuz he is not a veteran but he dresses up like you so well. You share a last name,


But I'm like this is funny, I laugh because he dresses like you so well 


But damn he keeps reminding me how much I miss sgt noe....I met 4 noes


But none of them were sgt


Oh yeah I remember you so well, its like I can ask...do any of you know my sgt???


Then they hear is it me?



And im like fuck this so mean


Sorry but all 4 had your name


But I know none of them were sgt



Why?

Even after all these years I remember him so vividly


I could have sworn I heard him whisper princess


I dont know if he means it or was just trying to be nice 


But just once I kissed his cheek when he said SORRY ILL BE OUT ON PATROL UM


CHECK OUT THIS COOL DOG



HAHAHA YEAH BOMB SNIFFING DOG 

YOU LET ME PET YOUR BOMB SNIFFING DOG



ITS SO CUTE HOW NICE YOU ARE

BUT I HAVENT LEARNED HOW TO DISABLE A BOMB YET????


BASICALLY I JUST WANT TO SAY HI MR TOO HOT TO HANDLE


MAKE IT BACK ALIVE OK?


MEET ME BACK IN THE MAILROOM?



DID I REALLY KISS YOUR CHEEK BEFORE YOU LEFT?


I REMEMBER YOU REACTING TOO DAMN CUTE TO IT, IT WAS JUST A KISS I GOT TO SNEAK IN BECUASE I heard you say princess


I dont know what you mean we are in the middle of a war



Kiss for good luck


You better dodge a fucking bomb again and come say hi


You think we maybe heard eachother right?? But no way its too cute


All I remember is I saw you switch from super confident for bashful


You slowly back away while you touch your cheek your face is so red


You blurt did that just happen


My answer was I don't know,

Did I just get away with that?


Do I really get to see this part of you?


Did I really just have a moment where those asshole gunnys still can't figure out who you are cuz they think they outrank you, but no matter what they try to tell me they can take you away, my response is I'll die before I tell you his name



But you finally checked on me in the mailroom when no one was paying attention so I went for it




So you tell me

Did I really sneak a kiss without getting caught?

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