Dear Diary,
I am scared today. I am a doctor. I live in a densely populated country. I'm sharing this in public. So I don't want to share the name of my country. It's been almost 2 week since our country has been affected by CoViD-19. Novel coronavirus 2019,a small creature that we can't even see without the electron microscope. It spreads through droplets and that's why many people are getting infected. This tiny little thing is killing so many people around the world. In our country officially documented affected cases are not much now. But I'm afraid that there are many non documented cases. And the number is increasing. Already 1 person died officially and unofficially there are some other death news which were not confirmed. Many developed countries are overwhelmed by this situation. Ours is a developing country. We are poor. We don't have sufficient ICU. We don't have enough PPE (personal protective equipments) for all our health workers. I'm a new doctor. I just passed my MBBS. I feel horrible right now. What will happen next? Without proper PPE if I treat someone I will get infected and all the other patients will be affected by me. I have old parents with diabetes, hypertension. I haven't joined for internship yet. If I do, I don't think I will come home. Even if I die, I don't want to infect my family members. Most of the people here are uneducated, low educated, stupid. They are not abiding the rules set by the experts for prevention. All the educational institutions are closed. All public gatherings are prohibited. But people are not understanding how dangerous the situation can be. They are roaming around. Home quarentined people are also roaming around. They are like a time bomb. I don't know what will happen. There is no vaccine. There is no definitive drug for this. Only Allah can save us right now. I don't want to see trucks full of dead bodies in my country like Italy is seeing right now. It's such a painful time of history. I can't hold my tears. I'm scared for myself, my family, my nation, my world. 😭 May Allah save the humanity from this danger. May Allah forgive us. Please Allah help us to find a solution to save all the people. Please Allah don't affect me, help me to treat all the patients who need my help. I don't want to sit in home like a coward. I want to fight for my nation in this crisis. But I need protection. I don't have any. I don't know what to do. If I treat without protection it's like suicide mission, like going in a war without any weapon. And killing other people. If I don't treat people dies without treatment. If I treat without PPE people dies by getting affected from me. I'm having a panic attack. I can't write anymore.