Dear Diary, I thought idols love their job for opportunity to perform in front of thousand people. Then why all these bitches won awards for their new song dont even perform? They associate themselves with me again?! What do they want from me??They dont deserve to win only because of pretty music video and band name that stupid people associate with their new song. If they cannot proove that they sing about someone else's feelings why they use me??! At least they should perform because I never listen that shit music so they should find new "model" if they dont feel what they sing about.
Bitch who destroyed my lovestory now has blue hair and try to proove that she is better because I cannot dance and was not my idol's school friend. Aint it anazing how all the people are on her side, not mine. My idol now acts like doesn't know me, like all these seven years nothing strange had happenned. I even saw how he wrote to his fangirl that his band want to come to Russia. Is he out of his mind??!!!!After all the hate that I got from his fans for these 3years only because I loved him and couldn't accept his relationships with other sluts and gay friends!!!!? Why after all these years he is on their side and doesn't support me ??!!! I tried to kill myself, I screamed publicly on all his whores, I was fighting for him when nobody else was, I took his blame for myself every fucking time, I kissed every his friend's ass just to proove that I choose his world, I pretend that I can love his ex girlfriends because he thought that they were his daughters so I should do everything he says. I listened and watched every shit he likes but he never did that for me, he just stole all celebrities that I liked to his bitches' side and payed them to talk shit about me because he thought that his whores always has higher status and better than me as he thinks. He always compared me with everyone and bring me down, even talked shit about my looks in front of everyone and laughed at my white skin. He never supported me when I was trying to proove that I am better than everyone who he met before. I dont remember most of the moments when he and his friends wanted to bury me during these 3years but it is true that he never talked to me personally and only judged me by internet posts. I lived in hell and since he didn't apologize I will use his name and his friends' and sluts' names in my next posts. I wanted to die but he never saved me even now after seven years he and his friends have everything and I have nothing