I'm feeling more and more alone lately than ever. I'm realizing how I am alone. Maybe not literally, but when I think about the people around me, there isn't a single one who I can talk to. Not deeply, and definitely not about all my emotions. I think about a friend who I recently started talking to again after years of not seeing each other. And when I think about him, I have a weird feeling that I can talk to him about anything.
But it's strange. I don't want him to be the one person I can talk to. I don't even like him entirely, and he annoys me sometimes. But there aren't a lot of other people I feel this way towards. I just wish I had someone more close to me. Someone who I can spill my thoughts and feeling to and not worry about what I say, how I say it, or how much I talk about something. I don't want them to just blow it off, or get awkward about it by not knowing what to say.
Then again, I don't know what I want them to do exactly. I don't want them to give me advice unless I ask for it. But I also don't want them to just stay silent, or say 'that's understandable' about my feelings.
I think what I want is a genuine.. interest. And maybe that's why I have this feeling that I can talk to him, because usually he displays a hint of interest in what I say, or a curiosity that I can feel him experiencing.
I suppose what I really want is to talk to someone, who has true interest in the things I say, and not judge or be in shock of the way I think.