September 22, 2019

Just keep swimming

IDK if I'm finally getting it or hat...  Today is a better day atleast...  I as able to breath...  I as able to think...  I felt a tiny bit like me...  I didn't get stuck in my head so much... It felt amazing...  And I know I still have a long way to go...  He held my hand on the way to the store today...  He held my hand hile We laid on the bed an he held me in his arms while we took a nap. I realize in my heart that doesn't mean his gonna stay...  But I know it meant wehad a good day...  That I got it today an I need to keep doing this everyday..  Keep acting like I did today... I know there's hope I can feel like a woman again...  That I can feel confident in myself an by strong again...  If I can keep doing this everyday then one day I know I can earn the right to be called mom again...  And maybe just maybe I ont have wasted so much or his time...  And maybe the things in-room from him wouldn't have been a waste.. Maybe the piece of his soul I stole from him...  I can put it back..