March 24, 2019

 

Dear Diary,

Hey! Whatsup... Like always i'll just summarize all these days since i wrote last to you. 

Hmm, lets start with chachi, last week uncle aunty came home, while talking she told about her marriage with uncle, she was from a rich family, very rics, never slept on floor and tutors used to come and teach her at home sort of rich. My uncle is not rich, she now sleeps on floor and she cook and wash clothes now. She now goes out for grocery...She rarely went out but they met in a train and she gave him his first mobile phone back then. They waited for 6 years for each other until their families just gave up to their determination and they got married. But i wonder if in all those 6 years of blind on unblind love they thought of life after they get what they were demanding. Today she doesn't even have a phone, because my uncle cant afford one for her. Irony. Are they happy ? I am not sure. Maybe they are and maybe they just regret, i think she does and i think my uncle too feel sad because he cant give her all those things she once had. Was it love, which had to hurt ? They both say it's the destiny, maybe it is... And maybe getting everything we want at some point is not the best thing for us. As Lama says.. Sometimes not getting what we want is the best stroke of luck. 


This week i made few dishes, i made bread idli today after so long, it still tastes same and good. I remember last time i made it. I never made it after that day. 


We went to Sofar Event in Hyderabad. It was good, very good. I like such places and such events, i dont like too much dhum dhadam. People were good, they were different, i dont know where do such people live.. i mean they were organising an "urban gardening" workshop the next day.. :O These sort of people interests me, i mean maybe it is still just a show off thing or maybe its fun, i mean i too want to get few plants in my home, but a workshop on urban gardening seems way too show off to me, but i still like such people. They are different. Anyway, event was good, i saw the cofounder of sofar, he was talking in between and he said they started back in 2009, its been 10 years and they were not very good, i mean they were just ok ok type guys and no bigshots, if they could do it, i can do it too. They kind of inspired me for getmechef, i think i should start again on getmechef, i think we can do it. 


These days i am thinking of something. I hate the fact that a big part of entertainment is centered towards screens - Movie/Series/Watching Sports. I feel this is almost completely time waste, i think i want to change the definition of entertainment, where some portion of this big chunk could be shifted to something else which not just entertain people, but leaves some impact afterwards, something which is also useful to this world in someway. 


I am working on the robot for Manan these days. Its taking a lot of time, i hope he likes it... 


One more thing i feel these days about how i want to live is, I want to live neat, u know like, Neat... Sitting straight, wearing neat clothes, always shaved, looking neat and always calm and busy in myself, when i am sitting in some crowd, i want myself to be doing my own stuff, like reading something... Not talking too much, infact not talking to anyone unless required. A sort of Calm in my mind is always there, i have all the things in mind but i am not anxious about any single thing, i am just too calm when i speak to someone. That sort of neat, i want to be that now. Neat...


Was talking to kohinoor today, she is growing quiet fast, thats also a magical, u know few days ago, she would not understand a thing, she was just staring walls, barely moving and now she is so restless, she cant sit idle even for a second, she has learnt sitting and walking like a horse with her knees and now she is always running... in some days she'll start talking... This whole thing is really wonderful, Life... Its really magical when we think...  


Me and sweety, we saw stranger things both series, i couldn't sleep for 2 nights, i could not shut my mind, it just kept thinking in some context with the story... I'll not watch such series again. No serious stuff. I think i am fine with comedies and Love stories. 

Yesterday i saw "The Notebook" again. Saw half of it, closed at the point when Allie leaves Noah... 


I don't know about where life is headed, i really don't know what'll happen tomorrow, i don't have any plan this time, i am just going... It bugs me, bugs me a lot, but I don't like the idea of living the common life. I don't know, i am hopeful, maybe in coming few years i'll figure it out. 


Sometimes i don't feel like doing anything, like yesterday, i dint want to work, dint want to read, dint want to learn anything, dint want to make anything, dint even feel like cooking, everything seemed purposeless at the end. Maybe they are all purposeless in tiny sense, even today, they are, even me writing to you right now is i think purposeless in the tiny sense, yet today i know that i should do this, and not think if its purposeless... Am i right ? Maybe all these tiny purposeless things will add up to something big one day, or maybe i should drop all these and do only something which feels meaningful. I don't know... Time is not stopping, and i have vey limited of it... 


P.S - I am not sad. I am just thinking... Not that being sad is bad. But i am not. Not right now, i was yesterday, but now i am not. 


Goodnight... 😉








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