Writer at Heart's Dear Diary

I'll beat bulimia.

Dear Diary, I am grateful for today.  I also realized that most of the people are temporary. They change, come and go, and that the only person who is always going to be by my side is me myself. Don't trust people that much - some things are

I purged three days in a row after almost a week of not doing it.

I'm tired. I think there was something I wanted to do but I can't remember what it is. My body aches. I should have probably gone for the walk before bed but it's too late now. I don't feel like waking up tomorrow. I feel weak. I don't feel like doin

Dear Diary, Everything WILL be okay.

Dear Diary, I ended up throwing up. I promise to never do that again.

Dear Diary, They say that recovery is not linear. Yesterday wasn't best, but okay. Today I binged on sweets - fats and sugar. But I'm not going to throw up. At least I hope not to. I hope that tomorrow will be better. I have to resolve no-fruit.

Dear Diary, How foolish am I not to realize that as soon as I give in even a little bit, it's done. It goes like this: "I'll eat just a little bit". But ends with me eating a lot. I may not let myself give in because I won't be satisfied with th

Dear Diary, I'm so done with this disorder. I just need to be a good girl for the rest of the week to set my healing process. I have a specific food plan tomorrow which WILL follow and which should set me up for success later in the week. Finger

No, not only I binged ate today, but I binge ate twice! Started with breakfast. Tomorrow for real, starting over. I'll win!!! I promise myself not to binge it tomorrow for sure. I'm so tired of it.

I'm stuck in this loop. Yes, I ate too much for lunch. And it would have been fine. But I ate after that as well. Damn! ((( I guess I'm starting over. Again.

No binge eating. I'm starting on October 10. Let's see how it goes.

I'm struggling very bad with my dopamine-dysregulated brain.

I don't want to be a food slave again. Fun fact: when you binge eat you don't even enjoy it that much. Your breaks are just off. You just stuff yourself up.

You know what eating disorder is like? It's like you crave one thing but you end up eating something else instead, and eating so much of it that eating the thing you craved in the first place ends up being not as bad. You know what eating disorder is