Writer at Heart's Dear Diary

It is not about him as a person. Because, truth be told, I never connected with his personality for real. No, he was interesting as a person, but we are different: in age, hobbies, social styles. Yes, he is very attractive.  It is not about him.

I need to stop using mom as emotional trash dump.

Those illnesses have opened my eyes to our vulnerability. But they also made me realize that I just don't have time to pretend. I need to live my life now. Not in the future. Not in the past. How much do I have left on this earth anyway? It is what I

I need to find reasons to recover.

Dear Diary, This darn therapy is expensive.

Dear Diary, Why me?

Dear Diary, My bipolar meds aren't kicking in and I feel ass.

Dear Diary, I hate him.

Dear Diary, I'm actually having it so bad with my bipolar.

Dear Diary, Bipolar sucks

Dear Diary, When was my last normal food intake? Tbh, I'd happily take ana over bulimia. I purged yesterday, but binged today 3 times again. Feel nasty. Scared of ruining my face and teeth.

I regret not purging.

I've just binged but I'm not going to throw up. It is my conscious choice. Why? 1. My facial swelling has gone down. I don't want to look like a chipmunk again. 2. I need to break this cycle. 3. I need to practice resisting temptation.

I've never felt so miserable in my life. There just not enough tears for me to cry out everything.

Dear Diary, I think that the key to solving my eating disorder problem is stop going hungry. Eat five times a day. Eat enough of proteins and carbs. Carbs at every meal. Have dinner at 6:30-7:00 pm to not feel hungry late. Like today I binged at 3, b