Writer at Heart's Dear Diary

Why harm myself? Food always tastes good. It will taste good, regardless of how much I have now. Tomorrow I will still want it. And the day after. And the next. But only so much food will benefit me at the time. More will hurt. I won't have enough no

Today I've spent most of the day binging. Ended up finishing all of the cookies. They didn't even taste that great.

Dear Diary, I know that my binging problems hurt my body. Each time I'm sick I promise I won't do that again. An yet... Each time my stomach stops aching and gallbladder feels fine I do it all over again. My gallbladder is doing badly this year

I'll beat bulimia.

Dear Diary, I am grateful for today.  I also realized that most of the people are temporary. They change, come and go, and that the only person who is always going to be by my side is me myself. Don't trust people that much - some things are

I purged three days in a row after almost a week of not doing it.

I'm tired. I think there was something I wanted to do but I can't remember what it is. My body aches. I should have probably gone for the walk before bed but it's too late now. I don't feel like waking up tomorrow. I feel weak. I don't feel like doin

Dear Diary, Everything WILL be okay.

Dear Diary, I ended up throwing up. I promise to never do that again.

Dear Diary, They say that recovery is not linear. Yesterday wasn't best, but okay. Today I binged on sweets - fats and sugar. But I'm not going to throw up. At least I hope not to. I hope that tomorrow will be better. I have to resolve no-fruit.

Dear Diary, How foolish am I not to realize that as soon as I give in even a little bit, it's done. It goes like this: "I'll eat just a little bit". But ends with me eating a lot. I may not let myself give in because I won't be satisfied with th

Dear Diary, I'm so done with this disorder. I just need to be a good girl for the rest of the week to set my healing process. I have a specific food plan tomorrow which WILL follow and which should set me up for success later in the week. Finger

No, not only I binged ate today, but I binge ate twice! Started with breakfast. Tomorrow for real, starting over. I'll win!!! I promise myself not to binge it tomorrow for sure. I'm so tired of it.

I'm stuck in this loop. Yes, I ate too much for lunch. And it would have been fine. But I ate after that as well. Damn! ((( I guess I'm starting over. Again.

No binge eating. I'm starting on October 10. Let's see how it goes.