April 19, 2026

Dear Diary,

I just want this to be over sooner.

The things I would do just for him to smother me in kisses, even just for a day, or hold me close and tell me he loves me again...I feel horrible for feeling like this, but It wont go away. I feel so bad for missing him so much, but I cant go more than a few minutes without thinking about him...his sweet smile, that laugh that sounds like honey, or when he holds me and it feels like nothing could hurt me. I tried convincing myself everything was gonna be okay but...its really not...i dont know what to do. I dont know how to get this pit of hurt in my gut to go away or how to get the constant thoughts about him leave.

Does it really need to be so long..i feel like this would be so much more bearable if it wasnt so long.

I dont wanna tell him because I dont want him to feel bad, i just... I dont know. I feel like the next time I see him im gonna start sobbing immediately.