April 16, 2026

I could've written this... *sigh*... I hate to say it, but the person I'm with now has made all of those times before, where I was literally curled up in a ball on the floor, hysterically crying with a pain in my heart that I thought would never fade... seem laughable. I had to end up with my soulmate, the person who would never even SUGGEST a "break" because he'd be just as miserable as I would, the person who introduced me to NEW interests or hobbies, making the old ones not seem quite so special. These days, I can hear a song that reminds me of a long lost love, and smile. I can remember those times, and be grateful that they led me to the person who loves me unconditionally. I think that's really the most important part: unconditional. As long as there are conditions on your relationship (outside of the big stuff, cheating, shooting up a school, etc.) then there's always going to be a chance that it ends with one or both of you in pain. I left another comment where I said, "I'm not going to say it gets better." Even though this comment seems like that's what I'm getting at, what I am saying is that if things don't work out the way you're hoping for right now, there's still a chance that that's not all bad. I'm guessing your ideal situation is as follows: he calls you within the next 5 seconds and tells you what a huge mistake this whole "break" thing was, and he's in your arms within the next hour telling you how sorry he is. Then you go on about your lives, with minimal problems, and live happily ever after. If that's what you're hoping for, you HAVE to allow yourself to start hoping for something else, because from what you've written so far, it doesn't seem like that's gonna happen. I hope I'm wrong. Find a distraction that works for you, and don't continue going through this alone. *Hugs.* -L