March 27, 2026

Dear Diary,

I just watched the Documentary of the Comeback from BTS. And I am somehow sad, not because the Documentary wasn´t great but because it was so breath taking. Getting a glimpse of that, what the Boys were thinking and feeling, all the Emotions and all. But in the same second, I was feeling ashamed for myself. I got a glimpse of an life I could never reach. Not that I want to ever become an Idol but the life of being able to Travel, chilling on the Beach in L.A. Seeing the member laughing and having fun and such an beautiful live and all. I know I can´t compare myself to them or anyone else who is standing above me in live. But I can´t stop myself to daydream about having such an life. A life without this Pain, without having to fear that I don´t know if I can still pay my bills and all.

Every time I see people living something I can´t have, makes me sad because I know I can never reach it. I love the boys and every one who can life in such an Amazing life deserves it from my heart but sometimes I wish I could have it too but I wasn´t born this way. I can never reach it and somehow it drags me down. Sometimes it motivates me to become better, to start living healthier and starting to work out but the motivation never last long. So..yeah. I´m sitting here in my bedroom, feeling pity for myself and drown in sorrow.