Dear Diary,
How you doing.
Spring is just starting here. It's my fav time. 🌼
I am feeling specially light headed today. My mind feels like feather.
Yesterday i was feeling a bit sat(sat not sad, sat = when i feel like i am sitting on ground instead of walking and just lacking some motivation).
Last week I was talking to navid, he said, How is learning snowboarding now. Although happy for him that he is able to take out some time for himself but I also felt "what am I doing?" I'm not learning snowboarding or skating or Spanish or guitar. I'm not even making cool stuff. This remained in my mind for almost the whole week, but then yesterday while i was sat. I thought about it, so what if i did not learn snowboarding or guitar os spanish, sure he'll have more things to talk about with people, but i spent that time with family, maybe even saved some money which will be used for good for someone or maybe family. I am not missing out in life if i could not learn a new sport or something.
I was I'm wondering where do I spend all my weekends? I realized it's going with family things I have to do sometimes to keep mom happy, sometimes to keep Komal happy, sometimes for my sisters. Sometimes I also do things I like. Whatever is small. Maybe read something, maybe laugh on a joke on instagram, excercise or meeting friends. I know sometimes it feels like I'm crossing the boundary where I'm trying to make everyone feel good, trying to make everyone like me, trying to please everyone, and I'm not doing the things I want to do. But I should accept that this is who I am. Some days I will prioritize myself. Some days I won't be able to do. But this is life. We do not always get what we want.
Acceptance will bring me happiness and the dreams will keep me alive.
That's all for today.
Love you
--panda--