Dear Diary,
I’m crying myself to sleep
I have had to hard love him
He’s gone..alone and out of the house to hit his rock bottom and to get help by himself
I can’t do it anymore
My heart is broken
The extent of his addiction was done during my marriage through lies and deception
With the distraction of kids and careers I ignored the signs for stress
And over 20 years accepted the promise of change and sorry
I’m reeling in pain as it’s looks like we are not recoverable
I love him with all my heart
I feel like a piece of me has died
He needs to get better as I can’t have him around our kids anymore
He is sick, I have become mentally unwell because of it
I can’t do it anymore
Life as I know it has changed and I need to let go of what I thought was going to be
I’m scared so fucking scared