December 31, 2025

I want to run away from my house. My parents are total strangers to me. I don't know where to go. I don't want to eat anymore at the house. This is hell. I don't wanna go to past either. I don't want to talk to mom either. Why should I be the one to understand everything and act mature? From childhood till now why am I have to adjust everything? Why I have to suffer? Why i should always forgive ? Whatever they have done, even though they have beaten , hurted me i chosed to forgive them. I thought I would never forgive my dad. But yesterday i thought whatever he had done bad to me, in this life he's my dad, i should never give up on him and forgive him. Idk. Both are hurting me so much. Idk where to go. I'm getting flashbacks again. I can't forget anything. And they keep triggering those things. How can I forgive them when I can only remember the hurtful things they did. They did so much things to suffer that i don't even remember any good things. Now they want me to be grateful for this family. Because of them I'm getting hurted by every people.