What am I doing

 

Dear Diary,


I am scared. Really scared. 


It's getting worse again, my anxiety, everything.

The last 4 Weeks I was in an Internship, in a Kindergarten. It is really nice there, I have fun working with the kids and all but last Thursday I started to have a burnout because I worked after the 8 hours an extra 3 hours in a different store to make more money. 

But yet, I'm like. Scared. To go back. Scared to leave the House. Scared to do anything because I could screw up more. It's like someone is always watching. 

Everything was alright, but yet. It's not anymore. And I cant just quit the Internship because its part of a school like where I get money for. Not much but something and I need to cover my bills. And I am in high dept. 


I don't know that to do anymore. I just wanna give up. Im tired, tired of this live, this stress, these pain. All the emotions I cant tell, all of my thoughts, killing me. It's so hard. I am not that strong. 

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