“we’re perfect for those we don’t love and unbearable for those we do”
My dear, perfection lies in lightness: we shrug off responsibility, we don’t think about the future with someone we don’t love, we don’t throw tantrums, we don’t demand anything. We smile, we joke sharply without fear, we feel no terror of losing them. It’s easy. Simple. Weightless.
Imperfection lies in responsibility. You want to feel solid ground beneath your feet, you want to be sure of a shared future. You push yourself to find work, side jobs, you stress over crises, you live in constant tension just to keep everything afloat. You don’t even know how to joke anymore, because there’s no stability and you’re desperately trying to build it. And in doing so, you become heavy.
So choose: lightness without deep feelings, or helping your partner find a sense of stability, so they can feel that lightness too. Both paths fail if one doesn’t meet the other halfway. The unloved will grow tired and leave. The one who doesn’t love will drown in boredom.
When love is there from the start, it’s easier to bend, to adjust, to help each other understand yourselves and one another. That’s the real weight of passion and love at the beginning. Without it, you’re basically just relatives with no fights, no real clashes, just comfort, as long as they don’t bother you.