Itsme's Dear Diary

Dear Diary, Well, I almost forgot about ts, anyways I finished writing exams like a month now and hmm what do I even say. It looked easy but my brain somehow fucked it up so I'm currently waiting on my exam results and shit, will update then though

Dear Diary, I have my CXC exam in May and I feel fucking stuck. I'm constantly procrastinating and not studying; my goal is to be valedictorian but how I could I ever be valedictorian? that's the question I ask myself. My plan b is to unalive myself

The disappointment does not arrive as pain. It comes as clarity. It is the moment when words stop carrying weight. They sound thoughtful, even sincere, yet something essential is missing. And instead of hurt, there is a hollow space where meaning

Dear Diary, I don’t feel okay. Had a bit of alcohol to calm myself down and just want to stop feeling this anxiety and pain. I hate it when someone close to me tries to manipulate me, and when the same thing happens all over again. I can feel it com

Dear Diary, Wow… So many times I wanted it and it never happened — and then, when I wasn’t even thinking about it, we ended up that close. I couldn’t take my eyes off you… like I was trying to memorise you. And you looked so serious. I was just tryi

Dear diary, I’m honestly amazed at how she keeps playing with me and my feelings without even being here. She still controls me, my mood, while being with someone else. I just want to ask: why does she need all this? She wanted peace. She made he

I’ve been thinking… If someone out there needs a person they can open up to and share their pain with — I’m here to listen. It’s hard to carry our secrets alone, and sometimes it’s so much easier to be honest with someone you don’t know. So… We coul

Dear diary… I’ve gotten used to the cold, it’s almost familiar now. Everything’s quiet, calm, still. Today my emptiness feels filled with the fact that I saw it with my own eyes — I’m not needed there, no matter how much I’m drawn to that place.

Dear Diary, I’ve noticed something… every time another wave of panic or emotion hits me, it starts raining outside. And it’s raining now. It feels like the sky is weeping along with me… Kind of romantic, in a way, but I’d rather it didn’t mirror my

Dear diary, I caught a wave of anxiety and suddenly found myself running out of the house, as if she had called me, as if some invisible thread insisted that I had to go. It felt as though if I didn’t run to her, the panic would swallow me whole. Ev

Dear Diary, I am not OK

Dear Love, I am grateful to you… Thank you for bringing me to death and for resurrecting me. Thank you for teaching me to value my soul and to respect the body that was given to me. Thank you for teaching me to listen to my body. I almost died s

Dear Diary, I missed u sooooo much.. I am so glad to see it works again🙏🏻 During your absence, so much has happened… I realized what true suffering is. I don’t want to experience that again. My life must simply be — just exist, no matter what. Th

I can’t control myself again. It only took her being kind a couple of times for everything to snap back, for me to miss her so much, for the pain to feel as raw as the day she said we were over.  I hate this life.. because it leads me back to hope,

My love. We exchanged messages and had a call today. She initiated it… and I was drunk. She talked about her busy life, and I stayed silent. She suggested doing shared hobbies together, even though she’s in a relationship. Probably she just wante

I’ve been going through therapy, trying to break my dependence on the person I love, because that love turned out to be a lesson, not the airy dreams I had about a shared future. It feels like I’m rebuilding myself from scratch. I’m not even touchi

“Do you truly love her? Does the absence of her really ache in you? Do you miss her with all the heaviness that comes with longing? Is she someone your life genuinely needs? And in what place, in what role, do you imagine her in your world?”