Tonight we talked about the future, about how he sees me as more than just a girlfriend. But after his hints about intimacy didn’t really lead anywhere, he suddenly grew distant and cold. Later, he barely answered my messages and then just disappeared.
He says he loves me, but all his actions show that he’s bored. Would someone who truly loves keep hurting and provoking with words? Would he make harsh jokes? Would he just disappear? Would a loving person push for intimacy when I’m not ready and while he still hasn’t closed the door on his past? I don’t know… Or maybe something’s wrong with me, and I just don’t understand what love really is.
It feels like I’ve fallen into a deep sleep, and everything around me has just stopped. Life has stopped. And I can’t bring myself to say to him, “go away, stop hurting me”, because I love him..