Am i wrong for not wanting to talk to my dad after yesterday? i thought he had stopped drinking.... but I WAS WRONG! yesterday i found 2 cans.... not small ones... 50 ounces.... larger than my computer... It hurt... I ACTUALLY BELIVED HE HAD CHANGED!!!! I WAS SO SO FUCKING WRONG!!!!! I HATE IT! I CAN'T BELIVE I WAS THAT STUPID TO BELIVE THAT! THEN YESTERDAY AT NIGHT HE CAME TO "talk things out" I DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO HIM! MY MOM GOT MAD AT ME ABOUT IT! LIKE HOW THE FUCK DOES SHE EXPECT ME TO "talk things out" WHEN I FOUND 2 FUCKING BOTTLES OF THAT SHIT?????!!!!! SHE HAS Drank WITH THIS SINCE THEIR START OF THEIR MARRIGE!!!! MY DAD ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF THAT!!!! HOW HAS HE NOT LEARNED! IT FEELS LIKE HE DOESNT CARE! HE IS WASTING SO MUCH MONEY! SOMETIMES WE CANT AFFORD RENT AND WE NEED TO ASK FOR A EXTENTION! IT HURTS! THAT EVEN THOUGH HE CAN DIE HE DINT CARE AND DECIDES TO CONTINUE! YOU KNOW HOW BAD THAT HURTS? I FEELS LIKE A SHARP KNIFE GOING THROUGH ME! I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY TIME I FIND ONE! AND NO ONE UNDERSTAND THE PAIN I GO THROUGH!!!! ITS LIKE WHENEVER SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS IN MY LIFE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS! YESTERDAY I FOUND OUT MY COUSINS SURGERY WAS A SUCCES.... BUT AFTER I GOT HOME FROM MY BEST FRIENDS HOUSE I FIND THE SHIT.... WHY?!!!!! WHY GOD? DO YOU HATE ME? DO YOU LIKE SEEING ME SUFFER?! WHY DO YOU ALLOW MY DAD TO DRINK? YOU HAVE ALL POWER!!!! WHY CANT YOU DO THID? THE BIBLE SAYS YOU CAN DO "ANYTHING" THAN WHY HAVENT YOU CHANGED! MY DAD?! DO YOU WANT HIM TO DIE!? I DONT WANT HIM TO END UP LIKE... grandpa. YOU ALREADY TOOK ONE OF THE PEOPLE I LOVED THE MOST! DONT TAKE MY DAD TOO! I BEG YOU PLEASE GOD