Dear Diary,
Hi, it's 10pm
What should I say about the day, I was anxious the whole day...I wanted to talk to him...to check if he is doing okay or not...but I didn't want to call him as well as he might be in the office or if he gets triggered more or shuts down by mu call, idk...m
Idk how to fix things with him.
Still I called him around 4pm, he disconnected the call, everytime he is in any meeting or something, he text me immediately that he is in a metting or something, but today he didn't...so I texted him saying that I have some work from him, please call me whenever you are available.
Then, he called me around 6:40pm...we had only 4 minutes conversation, the least in our entire call history...but anyways it felt little relieved...but it doesn't mean that everything is okay between us...he is not okay...idk how to deal with him...
All I want is to save this.
When he didn't answer the call, I was feeling quite low...I called uncle to talk...I apologised to him as well...he talked to me...he explained me things, he gave me advice, he said don't worry, everything will be fine in a few days...just keep talking to him... initially maybe just talk to him for 5mins he is saying so...then slowly everything will be back on track...he said that AB likes you a lot, he is affectionate about you...he might be hurt coz, he wasn't expecting such things from you, he is also sad, etc...
But I felt no confidence, but still I felt little better and then that 4 min call from made me feel more better.
I was feeling quite lonely today, living alone doesn't even encourage me to work all the time... I used to like living alone... But this time I realised that I am not liking it at all... I am feeling lonely... I have zero social life... The only interaction I can have is with my house help... I don't even talk to her as well... I keep sleeping when she comes for the work ...
I will have to go the gym in the morning so that I can go for a walk in the evening ... I went to the park in the evening to feel better... Idk it helped or not... But I realised that this time I am missing my parents and I am not happy without them... Last time also, when they went home, I messed up with AB and again this time...
Above that this silent house makes me feel more low...
And it is the second day I didn't eat anything... I don't want to cook also...
I was the person who used to stress eat everytime but I am not eating at all... Neither I feel like eating anything nor I want to cook...
I will sleep in sometime...work is still pending... I will try to finish my work by 6pm as well from tomorrow... So that I can take a break with free mind at this time.
I am feeling so lonely right now.
Tired as well.
Bye
Also, I forgot to write about the astrological predictions I asked Chatgpt to do...it has made me feel more insecure right now, according to it...he is a Capricorn person and such people shuts down emotionally easily or gets overwhelmed...and according to it things will starting getting better between us from July 7th and that it is a long time and I will go crazy by that time but I have to keep patience.
I don't know if I should believe in such predictions or not, but it is too long to wait till mid July almost a month to reconcile...
But I won't rush into anything...I will try talking to him about random things.
If I have hurt him by saying some mean and negative things about him...idk...I remember few things only...
But I will make a list of 20 things I like in him and send it to him tomorrow... or maybe day after tomorrow...
Maybe it will make him feel a little better.
Okay bye
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