Dear Diary,
I thought I won't write anymore...but I need to otherwise I don't have anyone right now to talk my heart out...as I don't have a habit of sharing things that had made me uncomfortable to my family. As I don't want to let them know that I am not okay with anything or I have any kind of trouble in my life...I have a habit to sorting out everything on my own...so right now I don't have anyone to talk.
Honestly, I am happy that his family AB's family is quite excited about this marriage and wedding...but many times I feel uneasy with things... around 11pm I called his sis as she was messaging from evening...her opinion on dresses, dance, song and what not...but there are things which I have my plans, my ideas but I am not able to discard her ideas as well... maybe we have a little different taste...but that's also okay...she is excited about the wedding... what made me uncomfortable was uncle telling me that she will select songs for me...she will guide me...etc...I do have a choice right...I never tend to do things which I feel are getting imposed on me. Like I know that he said that my preparations should be top notch and all and it was all in a fun way but I felt little weird... and always citing the reference of her wedding...yup I have seen the video... and there was nothing which amazed me... everything was quite normal...but flexing it everytime...and not even appreciating us for anything makes me feel bad...and always saying that everyone was on the stage dancing for hours...I didn't see any stage...it was just a carpet that's all...but I never say anything back which would make them feel bad.
I like her very much...but always getting to here...that she is the guide, she takes decision here...even for him... she guides AB in everything...he does everything with her choice and suggestions, from buying clothes to everything...
This makes me feel bad sometimes... as everyone is telling that they know him in n out and that is true as well but I also know him a little bit now...
This could have been easier if they would have said that these are things he is dependable on her till now but once you come... he will do things with you... it would have brought some confidence in me instead I am feeling quite low right now...I am feeling little weird...I am the person who is involved in every decision of my home, I decide who will wear what dress... what should we gift someone to everything...even if mummy is doing any shopping for my brother also... he says buy something with Didi's choice...
And one random day I am asked to follow someone else's instructions... and that too when I have a different taste and opinion over things...it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Are they ready to accept me in their lives especially their son's life? Are they ready to share him with me?
If he makes me the first priority in my life...are they ready to accept it??