Dear Diary,
During my first employment, a street vendor who was selling vegetables had advised me that I get married soon to avoid going crazy. One colleague had told me that if I didn't start drinking or smoking or similar activities which are considered normal to survive an IT job, I'd soon be a madman. In my second company, there was this colleague who told me that it seemed like I needed to bang a girl continuously for days in order to be normal again.
More than a decade has passed. My mind and habits haven't changed. I'm still 6'1 feet (maybe less now I GUESS, yet nice if you live in India) and I'd still stay that I still don't look bad (being a Virgo). In my words, somebody has quickly slapped me with a tag of 10-15 years. These slaps were rather quick and I wish to return them. They are stupid tags on me which are not doing me any good except making it harder to search for a life partner let's say. Virgos looks younger than their real age. But I can't lie to someone I'd intend to marry for a lifetime, can I? The times have gone crazy. Women are not thinking, nobody knows what they want now. The western culture has sent the society to the devil. I hate AI. It makes everything untrustworthy, even this note I'm struggling to write on you. The psychology of "Female Domination" was good only for porn, it should not burn down the entire human existence. At least that's how I feel, miserable like the poor weeping guy whom the "Russian mistress" used to torture. I haven't watched porn since months, so maybe my thinking direction would change for the better.
The world is a play where we are given roles and I'm now giving up the control that I used to (think I) have. Talking about plays, my life seems like a farce-comedy now meant for others to enjoy. The world kills the child within you, the young within you. It does so many many times and the only thing guaranteed is that you won't receive any help from anyone. They'll always remain the audience. Even your relatives don't care what you are going through. The only thing they can give me is the fear that they might stumble upon this public note I'm writing.
Money is a dependency given by a company to purchase you. If we open our eyes and stop this dependency, we won't need more of it. Maybe that's one way to break out of the system. But we'll remain enslaved like drug addicts.
The more this silent, sadist time passes by, the more fields of life show me defeat. But I'm thankful about the resulting peace received from three areas:- attitude towards women (I don't have a hateful mind anymore and cannot think of expressing the childish "male chauvinist" stuff I used to post) and treatment of couples (I'm no longer mad to see a couple having fun, just grateful that I've vision lol) are two of them. I forgot what was the third..