Dear jk,
Who am I? Am I still that little golden child? The star of everyone's eyes? I know I am not. I bought this upon myself. I wish I could go back to being the golden child, the same child that gave me trauma, the same child who set my standarda so high.
How to go back though? Why is it so hard, so hard to retrace the path I once walked on.
I wish I could sleep for some endless amount of time or float on the ocean surrounded by the sounds of only wind and waves. I wish I could just lay afloat on a boat in the middle of a sea on a starry night, stranded with no way of going back. At least I would know my fate, I would know I am going to die but these days I just can't help but have these thoughts
I hate myself sometimes, more specifically at times like this
I feel like a mess
I don't wanna be a mess