Dear Diary,
Hi...
"Umeedo wali dhup, sunshine wali aasha,
Rone k wajah kam hai, hasne k bahane jada, zidd hai muskurayenge, khush rehne ka hai wada..."
Kyunki Zindagi hai umeedo wali dhup 🌞
It's 11:50pm
Dear diary, aaj bahut din baad, din acha gaya... although when I woke up I was feeling idk what maybe some kind of low only...so I called him SS...till mid morning what mid morning I woke up only around 10:30-11 am but yup around 12-12:30 it wasn't that okay, I felt bad seeing my parents stressed like this coz of me...I fight with them, I argue, I cry, I want them to understand my mental health but eventually if they'll understand my mental health they will become more sad seeing me like this.
But after sometime, luckily everything was okay today, they came to me, talked to me, gave me so much of gyaan, to change my lifestyle and lead a better life, pray to God, wear less black clothes and what not.
But when we are not talking to each other, everything feels so heavy, when we talk, everything feels light and warm.
I was in a good mood today, light and happy...maybe coz of the menstrual cycle and hormones...logo ka mood swings kharab hote hain, mere achhe hote hain...lol... sometimes I feel I have too much love to give.
Later in the evening, I went outside after so many days, after so many days, I saw the sunshine, felt the wind and saw how evening looks like...had a cup of chai...then went to Burger King with papa and had burger...
Later we sat on Sofa like any other day after so long...there is a busti behind my society and we often hear the sound of different food and good vendors there...so it initiated the topic...my mum shared her experiences and stories which was overtaken by my father and he is a great storyteller, like he doesn't only have stories but also present it very well, like the voice modulations and amplifications, the expressions, hand gestures and all...haha... although I have heard 90% of those stories for n number of times but not only heard but when we went to his hometown in 2020 I tried all the food and too especially at those same places he always describes im his stories so that I can relive his childhood and he can feel nostalgic and yeah...bas ek chiz reh gaya tha...aaloo kachalu...and that coz sirf ek hi thela dikha tha bahut mushkil se and trafic jam tha road pe...so couldn't try that...I will try to cook it tomorrow or on Sunday.
Shaadi wala baat aaya but only for 2 mins, papa said there are 2 guys from x city and good horoscope match also...they were asking for your contact number so I gave them...I said okay... and topic ended there.
After that, I talked to a guy...I was not in mood but I was dragging it from so long, more than 2 weeks, so I chose to talk to him...he is a nice guy, nice person, quite similar ideologies about various aspects of life...and I feel that is quite interested in me as he always says that...but I have no such feelings, I mean he is a nice person but I don't have any inclination towards him...he is trying to do so... showing his inclination towards me...the way he texted me after the call and all...I don't want this... I don't want to make anyone feel bad coz of me...it was important for me to talk to him today so that his parents don't call mine in the upcoming Saturday Sunday...I asked him this as a favour...
Right now, I am writing this note, before sometime, I was happy listening to music, I felt like dancing, capture videos of me smiling... dancing infront of my mirror is one of the things which uplifts my mood...I thought how beautiful my looks today, the colored part and the flow... I liked my smile also today...
Bas legs are paining and waist is paining thodha jada...chalta hai...
Okay Goodnight!
Finally a not so crying note! Haha 😂