Dear Diary,
11:49 PM
Hi,
Dear diary I am not okay at all... my life has become a misery. I don't remember last time I was genuinely happy, I remember having sleepless nights crying, crying during the day time.
Life is so painful.
Why I am the one who suffers...no one really understands me...my mental state...my emotions... everything has started affecting my health a lot now. My body isn't capable enough of handling so much of stress.
I am done with everything, fighting with parents, arguing with them...and for what or for whom??
The person who didn't have the guts to speak to his parents about me...or got unsure several times...his love and care is not alone sufficient to get things better.
Few minutes back, I read a LinkedIn post saying
"Overthinking turns possibilities into regrets.
Decisions are time-bound. Once the time is gone, opportunities don't remain opportunities."
This made me think...
I asked him the ultimate question for the last time today and when he said that he couldn't bring the topic of getting back to me with his parents... something just broke and ended...this is one of those instances which made me feel stupid...as I was taking time, fighting with my parents with 1-2% hope also of getting things improved or maybe if we could end up together but I guess in the first place he also doesn't want that things get better...so only my efforts won't do anything.
But okay, I made a decision today and I will stick to it...
Whatever it was with him was too beautiful and was too ugly as well... memories fades over time... and yes I do have hard feelings...
The chapter closes here...