Day 1:
I was a little girl full of life, who very quickly saw a world other than the one she'd always known. A world where Mom and Dad weren't together anymore. A world where Mommy's getting back together with someone. A world where she hardly ever sees Dad anymore, and when she does, she watches Dad crying in the living room as she sits on the stairs.
This is the world of a little girl from 4 to 10.
Then Dad gets on with his life.
On either side, they announce that they're going to have a child. She's now 11.
When she was 12, she had to start secondary school, and Mom moved far away. She doesn't know where she stands anymore. She's often annoyed because she's too masculine. She's lost, she tells herself it's what she wants, and she doesn't want to be like her mother anyway.
She hates her to the point where she makes her suffer.
She enters high school, a little more feminine, but still lost. Then she decides to cut her hair again, but finds a boy she likes. She loses confidence with short hair, thinking that boys don't like it. She stays discreet for 3years.
She gets out of high school and still tells herself that being a man is what she wants, but at the same time something eludes her. She just wants to live, to stop suffering.
She no longer hates her mother, but she still suffers, she doesn't know what to do. She drowns in waves of thoughts, happy and bored. She cries while she laughs. She wonders what she should do. She sleeps late 'cause she doesn't want to sleep, but when she does, we don't see her b4 3pm.
She goes to class with almost no motivation and each reason is a good way not to go there. She wants to find a job, but she also lacks self-confidence.
She also shaved her head following bad news. She learned that her mother's condition was deteriorating due to a disease that she thinks she is the cause.
That girl is me, or so I guess.
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