High again

 

Dear Diary,

Hey again or should I say high again. It sucks that you cant go to a hospital eve in an emergency if have done drugs. The Australian government sucks man.


Dude I literally only say this because I'm up at the hospital with my poor sick mum, (Yeah she's still sick).. and I'm high af. I got some last night after getting paid at midnight from Centrelink. Yeah. I also spent like $300 on the online pokies but lost it all. Everyone says I have a gambling problem. But until I realise this well it's just for fun 😊 

I'm in the waiting room at Redlands hospital. The doctor is with my mum in a room. They won't let me in. Far out. I just want to be by her side. 


I just bought a vitamin water. Did you know that 50 cent the rapper made it. Yeah I'm pretty sure lol. 


I'm lucky I'm still considered baby girl to my parents. Money wise so I can spend it on what I want usually. I gt $1268.00 a fortnight. Tell me if that's good if not I will write a firm letter to Centrelink stating otherwise lol. 

I'm serious. 

I hope she's okay In there.  

Shes pretty brave so I'm sure she's fine. 


We looked at a new house to move into yesterday. It's actually really nice. Only three other applications were submitted to the realtor. I hope we get i would love if you crossed your fingers for us. I hope to tell you the good news that we got the house ina couple more days from now. Well we only have until February to find a new forever home as our house is getting sold. I met the new owner the other week when he came and inspected it. $800,000 he's going to pay. 😢  Sad face. 


I just want to feel merry and jolly. As Christmas is so soon. And it's my first one in 4 years that I haven't been in a mental hospital. So yeah I want to make a big deal. I'm surprised they even let me out considering well I am normal. 


Twinkling lights, festive, food, family, smiles, presents. I heart Christmas. 


It just sucks having to worry all time lately about my teddy and now my mum. I wish you all good health. I do. 


I've got my headphones on listening to "99 problems -hugo" classic. Hehehe. 

 🎵 Make the devil change his mind. It's a pound of flesh but it's really a tongue.  I have 99 problems ,. But a bitch ain't one

🎶 


Man they sure are taking ages in the doctors room. I might just ask the triage again. Brb. 


Okay I spoke to the triage administration lady and said is it okay to go in the room with her. She said no she's in there with the doctor. Lady I now but Its better to be with her then just waiting in this forever waiting room.. at least Christmas movies are laying on the little tv they have here in the waiting area. 


She handed me a visitor sticker that's pink. Im wearing it on my leather jacket. 


It was so funny the other day. Mum wanted me to help her deposit money on the online pokies because she is noticed I like always win. And she wanted to have a go I guess. Try her luck. And I wouldn't because we I was literally walking out the door to get manicure from the nail salon at the town plaza and she was like at the car window almost screaming at me to do it. And then I just said no and drove away. As I was driving a few streets away I receive a phone call. It's her. And I answer. She says I'm so selfish so after she just abruptly hangs up I get all upset and I turn right instead of left at the roundabout. I drive into the drive thru bottle-o and buy a 4 pack of 8% rums and stuff my nail appointment off. I feel too upset. I'm banned and not aloud to drink at the house since mum has given up drinking. Trying to choose a holistic and no drugs or alcohol approach to life ( just a healthy lifestyle. Eg;  healthy eating, walks and exercising)  and yeah I have to also do the same because well I'm her daughter and what she says goes as long as I'm under her roof and care. Even though I did say I was emancipated from my parents when I turned thirteen. 

Hehe, yeah. 

I like thought I could do life all by myself. That I don't need authority. I don't need to be told what to do. That I can do what I want when I want. So I'm at the park playing with the wind and making the trees move. I was just chilling out listening to my music minding my own business and trying to be happy. I was getting there. Then. This friggin girl who rides an electric scooter to the park I swear almost everyday. Well yeah she starts swinging on the swing. And I felt a bit uncomfortable all of a sudden. Like I didn't want to be judged

Lol. I was just there simply to get away and I always go to the park to yeah drink sometimes when Its banned from. The house and I also like to take teddy there often. But mainly I ride my electric bike around the trail I've made ob the grass that goes around the perimeter of the park. Dude. I'm getting up to speeds of 35kms and I'm starting to brake less and less around the corners. But oi, haha, I did bloody stack it the other day. I literally unlocked another level to my bike. It turned into Batman's bike I swear lol and I called it 'grass bunny' the way it stuck to the grass and gripped so well through the corners I took in order to do a lap. It was so fun! I went all avatar on my bike and like bonded with it. 😂 

It cost me $5000 and I don't know if the finance has been paid off yet. Anyways I was fishtailing the back wheel until it wobbled out of control and I lost co troll I tried to regain control of it but it was a lost cause it was headed towards the road and wooden bollards jutting from the ground were about to be my next meal. It was all in slow motion lol and I knew I had to jump off. So i leapt I the air to the left as my bike was flung left and forward not stopping. I swear I almost flew and than I realised I was too high off the ground and had to do a trick before landing so I didn't hurt myself. I ended going to the sideways somersault and landed gracefully on my knees on the soft green grass. I only had a little bit of blood dripping my the new scratches on my knees. But boys like scars apparently hehe or is it girls like boys with scars. I forgot hehe. I wasn't scared to gt back on my electric bike and barn it around the park doing more laps as I listen to my music. You know I have a app installed called Spotify 😁 I've listened to almost 4000 songs this year. Yeah boy! 

I could make a party good I reckon lol 😜 

💕

Also I'm suspicious of the Australian flags that lay limp on the tall metal poles out the front of the hospital as if they are calling my family. Mum Australian flag. Dad rising sun flag. Literally leave our family alone. Were healthy without you calling us in making us sick. 🤢 Again with the Australian government.  Gah. Rawr . 

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