First, let me say that your worth as a woman, partner, and human being is not tied to your physical ability to have sex or provide anything to anyone. The fact that you worked so hard to address your chronic pain shows how much you cared about your relationship, but it’s crucial to understand that your pain or challenges in intimacy are not a failing or a flaw. If your ex placed so much weight on sex that he couldn’t see the value of everything else you brought to the relationship, that reflects his limitations, not yours.
Women Are Not Defined by Their Sexual Availability
It can feel like society sends the message that women’s value is tied to their sexuality, but love and romance aren’t just about physical intimacy—they’re about emotional connection, trust, shared experiences, and mutual respect. The right person will value you as a whole, not just for what you can provide physically.
True love is inclusive of the challenges, not conditional on perfection. Someone who truly loves you won’t abandon you because of a physical struggle—they’ll work with you, adapt, and care for you. If your ex couldn’t do that, it doesn’t mean you’re unlovable; it means he wasn’t the partner who could meet you at your depth.
It’s hard to believe in love after heartbreak, especially when it feels tied to something so vulnerable. But healing will show you that you deserve love for who you are—with or without physical intimacy, with or without “fixing” anything. Your body deserves kindness and care, and so do you.