October 24, 2024

 

Dear Diary, I am not happy. I haven't been happy for a while now. I don't know why but i feel sad, and i just feel a weight on my chest. Only when I'm home though, i have nobody to talk to. I cant talk to my mom because i don't know if she will understand, not to my sister because i despise her and not m older sister because she literally just compares me o her and just makes me feel bad. All i had was my friends but everytime i get a chance to do that its taken away from me and back into the sadness i go. All i do is sleep, hw, eat and watch tv. i have nothing to do. not even a phone! hah!! that's the best part! im literally the only person without a phone, and the isolation i feel from everybody else is horrible. i feel alone and depressed. im not okay. and t put the cherry on top i have been angry for weeks but i keep pushing it down so now i feel like the next time someone test's me im going to explode. I'm tired of feeling like this but i have nobody and i can't talk to anybody. i feel like one day im going to just be done one day and just end it all. but i cant and i wont, because maybe someone actually needs me after all. actually? what does it matter if im not happy? why should i care if i dot feel like the people are supposed to care about me don't? Im hurtig inside and nobody knows. the best art of my day is when im gone ot the house, i like literally never go anywhere. but it's okay, im okay. i real needed to vent and this helped and i cant tell you why but it feels like a weight has been lifted off of me just a bit, i just have to remember to breathe, relax and out your headphones in. 

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