October 15, 2024

Dear Diary,

How foolish am I not to realize that as soon as I give in even a little bit, it's done. It goes like this: "I'll eat just a little bit". But ends with me eating a lot. I may not let myself give in because I won't be satisfied with that little piece. It's only making me want it more. I like to binge on bread. So I should just cut it out. On apples. So I should cut them out. Those are not cravings, my dear me. This is addiction. I don't actually need it. I don't actually want it. It is something in my brain that tells me to. Some brain chemistry. I know I MUST break this cycle. I should try for my body. For my health. For my stomach. For me. I say that I won't binge every day. And yet, I binge every single day. Breaking this cycle starts with breakfast, because once I binge for breakfast, even if I say that I won't do so for lunch, it will happen. I will have the breakfast I planned and three other meals tomorrow. Everything as planned. No excuses. No giving in. Because once I do so, it will lay the path for healing in the future.