Fastcraft sucks. And I was assigned to the tourist section so it was enclosed with air-conditioning. Can't feel the breeze on my face. Can't breathe the fresh ocean air. I was pretty lucky to be by the window seat but the pleasure it gave me was incomparable to the ferry.
As I gazed out the window, my attention was caught by a scribble on the glass. It was written with a ballpoint pen and in this exact writing:
helo
haw ar you?
Tell the Turuth
The turuth is that I was exhausted and all my excitement drained dry. Don't even get me started with my bus ride from the city to my hometown. Even with the air conditioning, the scorching heat proved stubborn and resilient enough to make you mentally curse in the devil's tongue.
(Note to self: Do not sit on the right side of the bus when traveling in the afternoon from the city to your hometown.)
It was infuriating. Even with the blinds drawn, the insufferable sun could still pierce through my skin. After about an hour or so, the oppressive warmth began to subside and it wasn't so bad anymore. The next challenge was recognising where my stop was. I asked the guy sitting next to me whether he'd pass by my hometown. He said yes, then asked where I was supposed to alight.
“Downtown,” I replied.
“Ah, don't worry. The bus stops there,” came his assurance.
“It'll stop right downtown?” I asked to be certain because I have to be told twice.
“Yes.”
The familiar landscapes of seas and mountains and the winding road that indicate my closeness to home brought a sense of comfort to my fatigue.
Three hours into the journey, the guy beside me announced, “We're almost there.”
I prepared myself and when the bus halted, I stood up and thanked the guy. I didn't go straight home from there because I had to buy some things first. Dinner, fruits, adult milk, bread, adult diapers for my dear grandpa…
Next day would be the reunion..
I began to have second thoughts when I went to Blaire’s place after dining with my grandma and cousins. Upon our delightful retrouvailles, we greeted and hugged each other with fondness and excitement. But she asked for my help to wash the dishes that would be used for tomorrow, which, guiltily, displeased me a trifle. I imagined I would be relaxing once I arrived and leisurely do the rest of the physical preparation a girl has to do before an event, which in my case: manicure and pedicure. No matter, I helped her eagerly and assured I am well accustomed to washing dishes because that's literally part of my job. However, at the back of my head, I was slightly disheartened that even in my vacation, I still had to do the work I was looking forward to escape, which paved the way for the second thoughts into my brain about whether it was a good idea to have come at all. I had been travelling since 6am till evening and longed for repose. But Blaire, being the main organiser of the event, probably has it worse.. She hasn't slept in days and this appealed to my sympathy and benevolence.
When she was done with the night's preparation at last, we retired to her room and engaged in conversations circling about the reunion, our elementary crushes, romantic despair, and jocular speculations about potential single suitors that may be found at tomorrow's gathering.
“If you don't want Aspen, just go for Maxon,” I suggested, half-meaning it.
“Nah, come on.” She laughed heartily, as if the idea was so ridiculous. “Maybe it's going to be you and Maxon.”
That sounded more out of place to me.
“I only have very little memory of him,” I told her, “—that he's quiet, that's all.” At least with the two of them, more years were spent together, having graduated from the same elementary and high school. I barely recall the guy.
“I think he's interested in you,” she mused with a suspicious twinkle in her eyes as she regarded me with mysterious interest.
“How can you say that?”
“I notice that he keeps on tagging you in the group chat even when you're not in the conversation. I suppose it's to get your attention.”
“Hmm…”
I did notice that but didn't put too much mind into it. Like the others who remember me, I thought he was just fascinated that I, the once queen bee in our grade, was there and would be attending the reunion. The one guy I was truly excited to see is unfortunately the one who has little to no chance of showing up, having already told Blaire beforehand they'd be moving that week, an information that saddened my anticipation. Despite saying he'd try his best to find a way around it, the words sounded empty to my ears that the tiny hope I should have for such a promise is unsure to even ignite itself.
We talked of Don and how much he's been the most supportive of Blaire in the group, surprisingly warming our hearts. His constant care and concern for her well-being seemed to summon the young girls that we once were, evoking appreciative giggles and praise from our mouths we would have never uttered for him before. It was with newfound respect that we regarded the man, the same Don who, in our memory before the birth of the reunion, had been nothing but a mischievous heartthrob. Despite only spending a year in our school, he showed the most enthusiasm and cooperation for the gathering, which, to me, seemed oddly hilarious.
"Don, why are you the most invested for the reunion when you literally only spent a year in our school? I don't even think you remember everyone you so familiarly address here as if you've been friends for ages 😂” I pointed out in the group chat.
“He's just excited to have a reason to go out,” countered Lorelei, to which I responded with: “That makes more sense 😂”
It was he, together with Maxon, who kept requesting I bring some delicacies from the island, specifically the famous chocolate they have. I did buy three packs of them at the terminal this morning, each containing five pieces. Having skipped breakfast, I slowly consumed one pack during the journey to give my stomach some company to enjoy. The second one, I gave to grandma. The third, which was originally intended for them, I gave to Blaire. I couldn't resist eating one piece from that last pack as well; it was incredibly delicious and not at all enough. Each piece is only about twice the size of a tampon.
Now that I mentioned it ..
I confided in Blaire about my menstruation problem and how I brought tampons with me. Like me, she's never worn a tampon in her life so when I showed her the product after having showered, her eyes widened and she said: “That’s what you'll put inside?”
“Yes, all of it.”
I'm no longer a maiden so acting worried or surprised wouldn't suit me having already welcomed much larger visitors. The cotton tube is just the same size as my finger and my only concerns were the risks of toxic shock syndrome and whether it would be uncomfortable.
Wrapped in a towel, I watched a tutorial on YouTube on how to properly insert it and played the video in the background on repeat whilst I raised my leg on the cabinet in preparation for my first tampon-insertion trial. Blaire, situated behind my back, sat casually on her desk with her phone, asking me from time to time if my attempt was successful. To my frustration, no. I used up three tampons and I couldn't seem to get it right. Utter regret filled me with the just-realised stupidity that I only brought, like, five or six, thinking it was going to be easy. I resolved to save the remaining ones on the actual moment I am to use it, lest I use them all up for nothing. Let's just hope for better fortune then..
Tomorrow's the day, I thought to myself, as I tried to find any vestige of thrill within me. I couldn't. Blaire has to prepare the spaghetti early morning and she has to wake up at dawn and my assistance was requested. Sigh. I love her but I just want plenty of rest…
And about me saying I wouldn't eat two days before the reunion, that's in the dumpster now. I was so upset yesterday that I devoured a burger for dinner. Of course I didn't mean it in earnest when I spoke of my two-day fasting, but I was still set on eating less, which, despite my sunken spirits, I still uphold treacherously; having skipped breakfast upon leaving sister's place, ignoring lunch, intentionally eating little during dinner with grams and cousins..
I may no longer be excited about the reunion but my vanity still cares enough to be conscious of my appearance. At least part of me still cares so there's that..