July 24, 2024

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Dear Diary, How do I stop shopping???


Serious question. 


How do I curb the desire for online shopping?


Just had a fight/hard discussion with husband. 


It suddenly dawned on him that he’s been putting extra money in the bill account and I’ve been spending it. 


This topic of conversation has been an ongoing issue for us. 

How can we afford a house if I’m constantly spending money on crap that i/we don’t need?


Every pay we dump so much into the bill account to cover costs for the month and the rest of my pay i use to buy whatever i want. I do have credit cards and so i usually put whatever money i have on my card and I’m pretty good at staying within that limit because i know i have to pay it back in two weeks. 


When i grab groceries or gas i usually put it on my credit card then transfer money from bill account to cover the charges on the credit card. 

But I’m also guilty of taking whatever money is leftover at the end of the month and putting it on my credit card then i go shopping like it’s my job. 


I know it’s a bad habit that i have

I have also learned the lesson of having too much debt to the point that i had to declare bankruptcy. 

Living through that experience was tough and i thought I’d be better once i was on the other side of things. 

I know not to over spend on my credit card so i think that’s okay

But I’m still struggling with putting money away for retirement versus having money to do fun things


Husband works hard and long hours for his money

Some days i feel like i don’t keep up with him

I do my 9-5 job, i take care of household duties but it still feels like it’s not enough compared to him. 

He says he doesn’t care about spending money on me, he rarely tells me no if i ask for something but i don’t like to ask for the frivolous crap, i rely on myself to waste my money on that crap. 

However I’m in the wrong when i do, the way i see it if i ask him for ABC he might say no and so i just get it myself. 

When i do ask him for something like a Dyson vacuum he said no. Not spending that kind of money. 


But this man has booked tattoos and paid deposits and lost said deposits because he was too tired to go and not feeling it. 


The Dyson would have been paid for by now. 

But anyway, I’m the one wasting money on crap and “don’t care” about our future. 

So in order to help myself get over this bad habit i have deleted my Instagram and Tik Tok accounts. I have unliked and unfollowed any and all shopping related pages on Facebook. I’ve deleted most of the frivolous shopping apps. I’m unsubscribed and will continue to unsubscribe from emails that tempt me to spend money. I’ve even deleted my cards from my mobile wallet and locked my credit card. 


I now have this sudden urge to purge and sell my clothes and other belongings because i want to recoup money on the crap as he likes to call it. 


What else can i do to help fix this bad habit???


O
Outter.Bliss✓
Jul 25, 2024 · 54 views

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FredAug 7, 2024

It all starts from the heart. The desire to surround yourself with things. Materialism it is called, but you already know that. It really is difficult to deny yourself. Self sacrificing is the opposite of selfish. Your husband may have a similarly different problem, but it's still not far from where you're at. You went and did by my understanding all the good things but with bad motives. From what I gather you did it because of the arguments you had with your husband and because of his harsh statement and even the guilt of taking money that you know you shouldn't be taking. Those things have shown you that you have a problem. All solutions are temporary unless you get to the root of your problem. Ask yourself in the intimate presence of your own company "Why do I do this? Why do I need this? What do I gain from it?" , maybe it's vanity, maybe it's a dream life you're chasing, maybe you have an unquenchable thirst for novelty. I don't know. But what I do know is that you should scale ⚖️ those things on one side and the value you place on your husband on the other. How about peace? Would you like to have more freedom? If you are free from this nasty habit, you'd have more time for other hobbies. Reading, time with friends, time with husband... just talking and navigating trough these strange and wicked times. I doubt you two have little to talk about outside of your home's affairs. My God be with you when you call Him.

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