March 24, 2024

 

Dear Diary,

If you could even call it that. For the past year, I’ve been suffering quietly with health issues, and if I’m honest have felt dejected and lost. It gets to a point where you’re a shell of who you are, but at the same time, the person you knew is never coming back. Most normal people may have found a way out by now, but as I drown, not in my loneliness, or my lack of ambition, my crippling anxiety is getting to the point where it’s overwhelming. When I pictured my life as I was younger, this was not how it would have turned out. Don’t do drugs kids. There’s so many things that you take for granted and don’t even realise it. At this point I’m even rambling. But this weekend, a week before Easter, I’ve decided, in all of my pain and suffering, this is not how my story goes. I’m willing to give it my 100%. For the next three months, I’m going to give life my all or I’m going to die trying, because I cannot remain stuck here, it’s eating me alive and is a constant burden on my life. My 100% won’t may look like 20% on some days, but I will do all that I can manage with the strength that I have, as long as I take a step in any direction, it is better than being stagnant . If anyone is reading this, I hope you win all of the battles you don’t speak about, as I show you all this is how I win mine.

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