Dear Diary,
An year seems both a small and long at the same time.
The last new year is still so vivid yet this year really has been full of things for me. Full of new things.
Among all the years, this year i felt most love in my heart. Once again i am truly grateful for people in my life but i am also very grateful this year for the company i work for, Canary.
Year began somewhat low, i struggled to fit myself in canary's culture and bring a shift in my attitude. I had bed reputation in company and even got a notice for pip. This struggle was a part of my life for half of this year.
I continued listening to podcasts and audiobooks, one thing that i learnt early on in this year and stayed with me throughout is that i can become lucky by shifting my mental attitude and i practiced that the whole year.
Then came February and the North east trip. This is what i wanted to do for years, to live in different places while continuing my job. And I did it. For a whole month, i did that. going and living in hotels alone, exploring things my scooty 😀. Not 100% as i planned, but i get it, in life you plan for 100% but you can be happy with 60%. Dawrani told me this year. Another beautiful thing about life is, so many good things are unplanned and meeting manik mama and being with him in Aizawl is a beautiful memory i am always going to carry with me. This is how it can feel like having a father.
In the end I went to gangtok with her and we broke up again after returning from the trip 😀.It's so classic now.
A blessing i had this year was Jyoti. Walking with her in cleao county, being with her on Holi was sooo sooo beautiful. I felt like husband wife with her 😀.
Going to london was kind of a dream, i knew someday i would go, but honestly until last year i did not imagine i would be going so soon. And My god, the beauty of it lived upto its hype. I witnessed a level of physical beauty i didn't imagine existed. I'll not forget the museums, the buildings, the streets, the experience i had there for a long time. I loved meeting my team, the retreat house, games, fun we had, all of it is a beautiful memory.
I went to dubai to finally meet sandeep after years. And it felt so indiffeernt, like we always knew each other. Once again we made new business plans we could not pursue but we are not giving up, the fire is still on. I loved dubai, i loved horse riding, and the momery of walking on the beach and playing in the dessert, the burz khalifa sound show, our outings, everything was great, god i wish i never forget these memories.
On the night of ankita's wedding Sarita proposed me. WOAH! highlight of my year ? It was beautiful, the things we talked about, feeling of marrying her, being her husband was overwhelmingly beautiful. I then did the airport proposal. Which i am proud of (slightly).
The next 100 days was a rollercoaster ride. We had our highs and lows, we both acted mature and silly, we got enaganged and we broke up. In the hindsight, i think we both just lack the maturity.
I met Anu and we also fell apart. There is a dialogue in the before trilogy, Celine says - "I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times." I connect with Anu on so many levels, i know it's not easy to find. Yet it ended.
I fell sick too many this year (5 times), had covid(twice), viral, dengu and stomach infection.
Then i met the eng team in Delhi, this eng retreat was another highlight of this year, i made new friends. I love the team ❤️. Everyone is smart and funny and sooo nice.
Went solo to rishikesh, and i realized, going alone is not so much fun. But it invigorates your belief in destiny and universe as things happen that surprises you. I met the japaneese guy there and along with other things, i embraced my new born love for dal fry 😀.
Mama came to hyd.
I met dawrani, I realised we have become so mature now.
I went to united states, saw new york, i had my birthday in dallas, during the camp canary and had the best birthday ever, even for future years to come.
I met Meera in SF, it's sooo beautiful, just two people talking and understanding each other, it is sooo underrated. It's another beautiful memory i am going to cherish for years.
Learnings
- This year i became more mature with every mistake and every reflection
- Soft skills are hard to learn. And soft skills are more important.
- If you have a positive attitude, and think from the perspective how to do it rather than how you cannot do it, you can do things, even if you don't know at the beginning how to do it. Difficult things are just difficult not impossible.
- You can become lucky by changing your mindset to be more optimistic.
- In relationship, you cannot expect other person to change even slightly, even the slightest expectation in your head for your partner to be different that he/she is will damage your partner's comfort space. It's always you, who has to change and start accepting your partner the way he/she is. We can only change ourselves.
- Don't take big decisions in excitement or anger.
- Patience is underrated. Only time can fix few things.
- Happiness/sadness are always in cycle, i learnt not to be carried away by either.
- Sad/Happy - How we feel in our mind is almost always connected to how our body is feeling and vice versa.
- Most people only like you as long you are happy and satisfying their needs.
- Money is important for a social life (at-least during this lifetime)
- I don't have any rigid belief, i change everyday.
- Destiny exists, keep having faith in it. Life will surprise you. Everything is happening for a reason we may not understand today, we can only connect the dots looking backwards.
Things i'll do this year
1. Think before talking. I speak without really meaning it. Just because in my head i keep talking imaginary things and they come out sometimes. I need to take a pause and be conscious before talking at least in beginning. Listen proactively too.
2. Quit smoking forever. I am done now. I cannot afford to do more damage to health now.
3. Cut down on alcohol. Drink consciously, drink less, Do not be too goofy.
4. Whatever time you spend on work, Keep it focussed.
5. Meditate daily, Exercise daily. It's more and more important as every year pass by.
6. Learn to drive car
7. Learn to fly a plane. Fly a plane
8. Learn dance
9. Learn spanish
10. Continue to be more optimistic.
11. Be more open, honest and direct.
12. Read 6 books
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Extension
13. No more seeking girls now. I am done now, i know by now, she is the one.
Thant's all. Be more mature this year, but rejoice in each moment ❤️