October 23, 2023

Dear Diary, I feel happy, kind of excited too. So I went small shopping 😆 but it lifted my spirits n made me realise that this is what I've to continue studying n clear my exams, so that when I have a job n money, I can get all the things I see n like, necessaries of course.🤭 & I also realised that window shopping would also do me good if I ever feel distracted or lazy. Going out does help in improving mood. & then I also thought about trips n trips with my bestie would be so awesome where we have mutual goals: have fun, take as many sweet, sexy, fun photos solo n together. Where we don't have to tell the other person to take our photos (that is a must for me, 'cause to be honest my family members are either busy taking their own photos or their partner's or together with them, leaving me the kabab me haddi n my mood take a down swing due to it n I feel it's better I take their photos instead of telling them to take mine, n one more thing, they don't take good pics of me, so I just don't bother). 

I love it, I'm happy, I'm at peace❤

There was something I read, it said like: if you're not happy/satisfied you might be doing something wrong n if you're happy/satisfied then you're doing it right. I liked it n it is actually really meaningful. 

There's also this thought going on in my head that even though I wanna get married, I have a doubt that do I really want that dream to come true? Do I really wanna put myself through someone else's whims again & give up my freedom that I had to fight for with a heartbreak?  

The men I met after that I thought they might be good people but I've good initally then they really showed me who they really are. So I just wanna stay with myself, rise in love myself n live a happy n my dream life. 

I've to have the trip to scotland in this lifetime. Oh n I wouldn't mind a scottish man😅, according to what I've read so far (hotness overloaded🙈).