- been depressed my entire life
- deep history of family mental health issues (sister has BPD 1, father has attempted suicide multiple times, mother is zoloft, etc)
- perfectionist -> unattainable goals -> not doing anything -> depression
- extreme lack of motivation
- extreme lack of interest in virtually anything
- extreme loss of joy
- was in a psych ward for a week because I was going to kill myself
- extremely codependent but has severe attachment issues
- debilitating depression, barely functional, hardly work
- sleep 12-14 hours a day, always tired
- extremely irritable and easy to offend/upset
- "spiral". can't turn off brain, hyper focus on what upsets me until I emotionally explode or want to kms
- even when Im doing "okay" for a couple of days (eating, showering, going into work, grocery shopping) I'm still extremely depressed and hardly keeping it together. Anything can tip the scale. Even going to the store will leave me shaking because of the effort required. I don't personally consider these manic episodes from my understanding of the definition, but it is only in these "bursts of energy/motivation" that I do anything. Otherwise, I let everything fall to the side. My house, bills, work, etc.
- extremely all or nothing in pretty much all aspects of my life
- "pleasant but superficial"
- been on zoloft, prozac, and abilify. Prozac + abilify == not really suicidal anymore, less spiraling, but still miserable. New form of depression. Classic instead of high functioning + suicidal.
- idk. Im in a really good mood right now for no reason. maybe im hopeful, maybe im crazy, maybe this maybe that. Maybe Im just pleasant but superficial