Dear Diary, I heard a voice last night speaking closely to my ear. This was a new one. It talked like a girl but it wasn't a girl. It were a hoarse, rough, deep voice.. It told me it was inside of me and was about to take me over. I said, "God!" out loudly, and it disappeared. I feel further from god. I haven't prayed for so long. I feel unheard and unlistened to. I really want my medicines back I, don't like myself without them. My legs don't hurt like yesterday and I feel better overall. It's just that I feel like starving myself again. Just over the day I, promise. I feel so much pain and duress. I keep asking myself; ("when will my wings grow?")