July 29, 2023


Dear Anyone,

I don't know. It just keeps getting worse. 

On the way back home, my mom's car (which is my husband's old car he gifted her about 8 years ago that he threatens me he will take back during a divorce) broke down in the middle of a busy highway. By the grace of God, a Good Samaritan parked their truck sideways to keep busy traffic from hitting my mom and helped her off the busy road. I felt so bad. If she hadn't felt like she needed to drive over here, then her car wouldn't have broken down. 

And at 11:47 am….He is still in jail without a bond set. 

Last night my BIL called me. My in laws had been calling but I didn't want to upset them so I didn't answer. (My MIL has been having mental health problems and the family has been trying to get her to a doctor for months. Recently, I overheard a phone conversation about power of attorney in order to force her to go get help. She has delusions, says she doesn't want to live, and feels people are trying to get her) Hid dad had a stroke a year after my mom did (both while in their early 50s) and now is eyesight and memory are greatly affected. That's why I didn't want to talk to them. I know their condition and it's just unnecessary to make it worse. 

But I called my BIL back. He said a family member who lives in our city saw my husband's mugshot on a Facebook page and wanted to know what's happening. So of course now the family is hysterical. They all feel blindsided and dumbfounded. 

Overall the conversation with my BIL was a neutral conversation to which his over all concern was getting his brother out of jail. I didn't go into detail and told him his brother would be extremely upset if I did. My BIL respected that. I also told him I don't run to them or social media with our problems (i run to God) so that's why this is a shock out of nowhere for them. 

I ended up finding the page my BIL was talking about. It had mugshots of all local arrests in the area. It's a shock value page called "BUSTED" in huge letters. And low and behold guess who did a "😡" react to his mugshot? The woman he was with that night and another woman he's involved with that I don't know really know about. It took every bone in my body not to message her and ask her if she was going to bail him out and take him in so he can "finally be happy?" (His previous words) I didn't message her, though. There's nothing that could come from that. She holds no legal obligations with him as she's not married to him. But it was tempting. 

I sat with my feelings about what to do for a long time. I called the jail and asked why his bail isn't listed. They said it's because of the charge he has. (assault causes bodily injury family violence is the charge and it's a very serious one in my state. It carries fines up to $4,000 and jail time up to a year if there are no prior convictions.) They said certain charges have a fee/fine assigned to them such as drug charges or robbery charges. His assault/family violence charge doesn't so he will have to have a judge decide. Once a judge decides, then he can get bailed out with a court date. Supposedly he stands in front of a judge today, but I didn't know judges worked on Saturdays. They said it takes 4-5 hours after the judge assigns bail amounts in order to access the paperwork with the bondsman in order to post bail. 

Last night, my mom told me that his mom called her crying, begging, and pleading with her to call me to make me do "the right thing" because she knows he's not going "to make it in jail." My mom said she told her she cannot tell me or my husband what to do, only offer support. 

So this morning, after seeing my father in law call constantly, I answered…against my better judgment. He was crying. Asking what's happening but then saying it's okay if I don't tell him, just get his son out of jail. He said if i don't do anything else for him, do this one thing. Of course I ended up crying and telling him his son would be enraged if I said anything. What I tried to do over and over was keep my family together. He said he understood but i needed to promise him I'd do everything in my power to get him out of jail. I did not promise that. I got off the phone emotionally weak and angry and sad all at the same time. 

I've yet again been put in a situation where I get no validation. It's poor him. Poor mistresses having to see their lover's mugshot. Poor parents who feel their son is a fragile child. Smh. 

And something tells me instead of remorse or thinking of all the lives that are affected right now and who is in pain, he's sitting there stewing in anger right now.