Dear Diary, in a way I'm preparing myself, won't make it easier, but I do need to prepare especially because I have been warned.
I know I will be alright, it's not the first time I lost an important man in my life anyway. But life will be strange without him because he's been a part of my life for 2 decades now. Adjusting to a life without him will be very difficult at my age.
Why can't I be the one leaving this time lol it would be easier. I have no attachment whatsoever to anything or anyone in this world except my SO. Everyone else that ever mattered to me including a few family members, they had all passed away, so really, I can't wait to depart lol I miss them everyday.
But no, I shouldn't be worrying about the future too much. I think I just hate starting over, but it doesn't mean I'm starting from scratch. I can still keep some things from my current life as I'm starting a new life.