January 11, 2023

Today is Wednesday 11th January and on Saturday night I was raped and didn't even know it. Saturday started off a great day, at the football with friends, drinks flowing. After the match I hit the pub with a male friend. Ended up going to his house where we had sex. Consensual. Afterwards I fell asleep, not sure how long I was asleep but I woke up to my "friend" having sex with me. I didn't know what to do. I just lay there like a dummy until morning when I could get a bus home. I just don't know how I should feel, I currently feel disgusting, dirty, cheap.... no matter how many times I scrub myself I just don't feel clean. I can't sleep, I just feel so depressed, I wonder does he know he did wrong, did he think I was awake, not possible but was it my fault, I shouldn't have had sex with him and this wouldn't have happened....