January 10, 2023

Ive given up. I was meant to work with animals. I know this and I'll never be satisfied in any feild unless I'm helping animals but I dont see myself ever being able to graduate as a vet tech because I'm horrible at math and I don't have the money to pay for school. I'm to scared to get aide or loans because the high chance I'll fail and not complete the general requirements to obtain the degree. So I'll be in debt for something I get no benefit from. To work as a VET assistant everyone wants people with previous experience or to pay $1,600 to obtain a certificate. I have neither,how is someone supposed to get experience when no place hires anyone without having previous experience? 

I wanted nothing more then to work with gorillas and bonobos. or chimps but everybody throughout my life discouraged me from trying for primatolgy. Not like I have the money to do that now but back when I was out of high school and opportunities were thrown at me, everyone from teachers, my family, other primatolgist, school educational counselor aand just EVERYBODY told me it was such a small niche that  the job opportunities are non existent and when they are I would not just be in competetion with those in my area but from the rest of the country. So I was convinced I would ve with a worthless education that wont help me obtain a career.Evwn to shovel gorilla ahit or chimp shit at a sanctuary or zoo they want you to have a bachelors in zoology or primatolgy. I dont want to shovel their shit! I wanted to study them and care for orphaned gorillas and chimps. I guess now I'll he stuck working a dead end job at min wage because I'm broke and not intelligent enough to pass calculus.. My life FUCKIN sucks I just want to work with animals. Ive given up on eber having a gorilla in my life looks like I'll have go give up on ever working with aninals too. Unless I want to be an asshoke and have one of those joe exotic zoos which are cruel. I shoukd just kill myself.

Primatolg