Dear Diary, I feel so uncomfortable. My heart aches but I can't cry myself out. I can't let go. I hate me for loving someone so deeply. It hurts hurts hurts like hell. More than hell. It's the sweet memories that kills me more.. sorry I'm already dead. A zombie with million broken pieces of heart. I can't smile like before. I can't laughing before. No. I'm not even smiling for something that made me happy or good. I miss him.. I love him. And I hate him. I hate him more and more.. He hurted me like hell. But I want to be in hell for the love that's left in my heart. When we broke up... I really want to fight with him. But he's not even ready to talk with me for a minute. I wanted to cry and vent out my anger.. but instead I act like I'm a cool person.. I want to ask him..
Why did you let go of me so easily?
Why did you let go of me?
Why didn't you love me?
Don't you fall for me?
Atleast for a minute? For a second?
You didn't fall for me?
I know I'm too much to handle.. I realized.. I'm the reason.. that's why he left.. my anxiety ruined everthing around me. I'm a over thinker. I can't change me..I'm sorry for being myself.. I loved you more than you know. I'm an awful person. At our last meet.. I found that you are dripping off from me slowly.. but I want to cherish that moment with you.. even that made me sad.. but I want to feel the pain of love.. I live seeing you smile. You don't like onions. You mess up like a kid when you eat.. You are perfect for me. But I'm not perfect for you. I want you back. But you already left me. You lose interest in me. I can't stop thinking about you idiot. Why are you coming to my mind everytime. Please make me forget you. I can do it on my own.. your memories are haunting me everyday.. you are the only happiness in my life. Now you gone. It's okay. I'm used to be alone. I don't want anyone. I can't live love anyone rather than you. Met a lot of person but nobody feels like you :)
I'm sorry. And I'm not sorry.