November 28, 2022

Dear Diary, I'm tired. I can't keep myself cool anymore. I want to cry. I don't want anyone. I forget what is happiness.. o really don't know what makes me happy. My heart aches. I can feel the pain in my chest. Something is pulling me in and out. Nowadays beautiful complimenting words doesn't give me any happy.. or excited..  or feel good.. why everyone leave me? Everyone come to me only if they needed anything from me. I want to be a bad person. So that I can't feel the pain. Being good doesn't do anything good. It only makes me weak. Fuck memories. Fuck present. I don't want anything. I want to die. But I don't want to die. I don't wann survive. I want to live. People make me sick.. I don't want to see any people.. no one stands for me like I stand for themselves.