Dear Diary,
Yesterday I started another sheet of my hormone pill. Then I feel nauseous in this morning. I am not sure if this was because of the pill but I had a sleepless night too.
I needed to wake up by 6:30 however I remember I was still awake at 2:30.
I am currently listening to the new episode of Anything Goes With Emma. It’s about seasonal depression. I can’t believe that she’s younger than me!!
Worked 9 to 6 today and I still have shifts tomorrow. Hmm okay…because there’s no teacher’s assistant duties.
I work 2 days in a week usually. I don’t know where I am going in my life… Today’s task was to make paper craft as decorations for upcoming school festival. Sometimes I feel like I can do more of this job but sometimes I feel like I can’t go work when I wake up. My boss told me she would be glad if I stay here next semester. Half of me definitely felt relieved to know that they won’t kick me out. But another half of me was worrying about my future. My dad thinks I am going to work full time since next spring that sounds impossible/unsustainable for me. No need to rush..
Even if I don’t have any stable job, I could visit Poland, one of my dream distinctions next summer break… or even next spring break. (Is it dangerous…? ) it will be difficult after I got stable job…? I have money to make this possible. But my depressed low self esteem self thinking it won’t be allowed, thinking “morally”.
Should I invest my money to go to school to train myself as a translator…? I could make it possible to work from home… but I am not sure if it would pay off… probably not.
But I might be able to work from home.
I am feeling tired…