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Alright, I think it's time to properly introduce the British guy now even more than Kaladin if you ask me, because unlike the latter, I actually met this man in person.
So he is a 188cm-tall, 28-year-old, blue-eyed gentleman; and since he looks like a Viking because of his beard, I'm going to call him Rollo. (It was supposed to be Ragnar but since I have a feeling I have a latent crush on him that has yet to be realised, I'll just choose Rollo because I like Rollo. If you've watched the"Vikings" series, you'd know. Haha.)
We started messaging each other about two weeks after I matched with Kaladin; so he was one of the few guys I'd talk to whenever I was bored and the tattooed soldier wasn't online. I usually start the chat on Bumble with an audio message because a simple text is boring, I feel like. And he was responding in audio messages as well so that was quite cool on his part because I happened to adore his accent. He's from Birmingham so it's not the usual British accent I often hear on TV. But perhaps that's because I haven't watched "Peaky Blinders" yet...
Anyhoo, when the conversation dulled out (as it often does with almost everyone on that app), I went out of character and boldly asked him if I could come over to chill. I didn't really mean it. I just had nothing else to say.
His reply was: "Yeah... sure. Why don't you come on over, Bliss?"
I then proceeded to make his height an excuse to hesitate. "Oh, no. You're so tall. Your height would intimidate me."
"I'll just be sitting down or lying in bed so it won't be intimidating then."
And then I just stopped responding all at once because I absolutely had no desire to meet him. More than twice I had thought of unmatching him when I was doing a chat clean-up because I don't like seeing too many contacts on my Bumble inbox. I usually keep my convos there only up to ten because it's an absolute drag for me to talk to many people. But then I replayed a few of his recordings just to hear his accent one last time and it really sounded fascinating to my ears that it convinced me to keep him there for a little while because I thought of imitating it. LMFAO.
Three days later, September 10th, the Brit popped up a text after I basically left him hanging.
Him: "Heyy."
Me: "Halloo."
Him: "What's up? How are you?"
Me: "Sleepy. Haha. You?"
Him: "Same. I'm in bed watching Youtube."
Me: "In bed, too, listening to music.
Him: "Sounds funnnnnnnn."
Ah, small talks.. That's where the conversation usually ends because come on, what was I even supposed to reply next? But since I was bored and didn't really care about him, I decided to just go out of character again and casually threw: "So have you hooked up with anyone yet?"
Him: "Nope. I slipped over Thursday, actually, on some stairs and badly bruised my tailbone so I've been bedstuck since then on painkillers."
Me: "Oh, noooo. That sounds terrible. Poor Rollo."
Him: "Yeahhhh, I need nurse Bliss over to heal me. Haha. Actually didn't realise how much you use tailbone in everything we do. Lol."
Me: "That's my most ticklish spot. Lmao. And everyone else's too, I think."
Him: "Oh, no. My feet are way more ticklish."
Me: "Have you ever been tickled on the tailbone?"
Him: "No, that's very true, but I think my feet are more ticklish."
Me: "Bahaha. I think otherwise".
Him: "You must have titanium feet, then. Hahahaha."
Me: "Not really, but with enough concentration, I can turn my tickles off. But when it comes to the tailbone, I just can't."
Him: "Jesus, that's an incredible superpower. How do you do it? Turn it off. Lol."
Me: "As long as I'm not caught off guard. Hahaha."
Him: "I'll have to catch you off guard, then. Haha."
It turns out he's also an introvert and because of this discovery, the topic drifted off to our hobbies and what we like doing.
Him: "Chess, YouTube, podcasts, gym. What about you?"
Me: "Books, YouTube, Netflix, writing, painting.."
When I said "painting", I actually meant painting house walls with industrial paint but hey, he didn't have to know that.
Him: "Oh, nice. I was always so awful at art in school. I can't draw at all."
Me: "I suck at chess, too. And gym."
Him: "I'll teach you chess. Gym, you gotta have self-motivation to go. Haha. I got one for my mental health."
Me: "How long will you be here in the city?"
Him: "Until the end of September."
The morning that followed, I was taking selfies to send one to Kaladin because my shameless arse wanted to obtain a special attention from him; but as I was in a dilemma deciding which picture to pick, I sent one to that German dude I've mentioned the other time, and another to Rollo just to see which of the two photographs looks better in a chat. (Yes, this is the kind of pointless measurement I make my pathetic self go through when I like someone.)
Following-up the selfie, which was a bare face of myself free of any filter only made flattering with the aid of good natural lighting, was a greeting for Rollo that said: "Good morning."
Him: "Good morning. You look better than me in the mornings. Haha."
Me: "Nah, I just got lucky today. How's your tailbone?"
Him: "Haha. Good editing skills. Fucking still so sore. Lol. Sitting and bending over to pick something up is a no-go."
Me: "Must be a bitch to poop."
Him: "Lmaooooo, yeah it is. Iced coffee in the morning is still needed but it comes with pain now afterwards 🤣"
Me: "Hmmm.. Have you thought of hiring an assistant or something?"
Him: "To pick things up for me would be a boring job 🤣 And I'll be healed in a week, the doctor said."
Me: "Hahaha. Alright, alright."
Him: "So when we gonna chill together?"
Me: "Can I bring someone else?"
Him: "Lmao. Who?"
Me: "A friend."
Him: "Whyyyyy?"
Me: "Becauseeeee. Hahaha. What is the setting of this 'chill'? XD"
Him: "Netflix & chill 🤣"
Hmm.. Does "netflix & chill" really just only translate to sex? What if you just truly want to watch something and literally just chill? I mean, yeah, I want sex, but to prematurely put it out there, in my opinion, would be unwise because the other person would be expecting it now and what if face to face, you don't feel an attraction? This would only pronounce the rejection when it turns out one of you doesn't want to be physical with the other at all, as what had been hinted prior to meeting, and it's not really a pleasant feeling for either one of the parties. Unless, perhaps, the feeling of disappointment is mutual. In any case, I don't want another episode of that night with Bryce... Moreover, I certainly still had no interest in meeting this Englishman face á face, let alone to "netflix & chill" with him. My boredom, however, had no problem blithely humouring him with my "consideration" regarding this matter.
Me: "And it takes what time?"
Him: "When I'm healed. Lol. I'm here until the end of the month."
Me: "But you're not a killer or something, right?"
Him: "No, I'm not. Haha. Are you?"
Me: "Not yet. Kidding XD"
Him: "Hahaha. Well, you do know a lot about vampires."
Me: "Hahahaha. I wish I could bring a friend, though."
Him: "Lol. Nvm. I'm trying to hang out with you, not your friend. Don't worry about it :)"
Me: "You don't fancy a threesome? :)"
Him: "Well, I didn't think of that…"
Me: "Hahahahaha. Don't get excited. I don't have friends."
Him: "Lmaooooo. So you have no friends to chill with."
Me: "Hahahahaha. I'm a lone wolf."
Him: "Soooooooooo, why did you wanna bring a friend with you, then? Haha."
"Becauseeee," I began, this time through voice message cos typing can be tedious, "I'm shy. And also scared to go somewhere unfamiliar all by myself with a stranger."
He recorded himself, too, and said: "Nah, that's fair. Especially since I'm a stranger, of course, but.. I'm not a killer so that's one good thing going for me, and.. Come on, I'm an introvert. It's fine." He gave off a good-natured chuckle that supported reassurance to his statement for it sounded earnest enough. "We can play chess and stuff."
To put an end to it, I just went ahead to say: "Okie-dokie. I hope when you're healed, I won't be busy."
The day that followed (12th September), around noon, the thought of hanging out at Rollo's place started to become appealing as the heat of the godforsaken sun made me bathe in my own sweat.
"God, it's so hot," I complained in seething discomfort. "There's no air-conditioning here in my room so I'm tempted to come over." I let out a weak laughter.
"There is plenty of air-conditioning here in this room, as you probably can hear in the background of this audio message, Bliss."
"Alright, then. Tomorrow, I'll be there. Maybe. If you want to. What's the name of the hotel again, if you can write it down. Also, your room number." Realising what had just been said, in a teasing voice, I added: "Ooh, this is getting serious. Hahaha."
He wrote the name of where he was staying at and the landmark near it. However, no room number was imparted which was fine. I wasn't really sincere when I said I was coming over the next day. I never expected we would even get along because I thought he was just one of those typical guys on a dating app who just wants casual sex by the way he so easily encouraged me to pay a visit. I mean, I guess he is, but, the different thing about him is that… he's not particularly cringey. Idk.. I mean, he never really flirted with me in a nauseating or sappy way, nor even gave me a proper compliment. His statement about my selfie was probably the only thing closest to one because when he does praise me, it's usually sarcastic. (Speaking of the selfie, by the way, it was also the one I chose to send to the soldier.)
So just like Kaladin who never insinuated something dirty, Rollo was refreshing. But they were absolutely different. Kaladin had this warm and gentle energy around him whereas Rollo was full of sarcasm and teasing. One time, we spent an entire afternoon arguing about killing each other in the world of "Game of Thrones". It all started when I asked him for a selfie and when he sent one, it was here I was taken aback by the amount of hair he had on his face. In his profile pictures, they were definitely NOT THAT long nor thick.
"Ooh, you are a Viking!" I sent my surprise through text.
Him: "Viking maybe in a past life show, Blissettttttaaaaaaaaaaa."
I actually didn't quite get what he meant by that. And, oh. Ever since I called him "Rolloliyo" once, he decided to make an extension on my name as well. And it only got longer and worse with time.
Him: "Maybe a Game of Thrones extra. Lol."
Me: "Hmmmm.."
I stared at his pic. He definitely had a beautiful face. Thick brows, dreamy eyes, narrow nose, small mouth, altogether carrying a soft expression...
Me: "Yeah, I can see you in the Night's Watch, aye."
Him: "Hmmmmm, dunno if I could deal with the cold."
Me: "It's OK. Your character dies immediately. Hahahaha. Love you, Rolloliyo."
Him: "Yeah, the white walkers gonna fuck me up. But then least I join the army of the dead and come for you immediately."
Me: "I'll be up there riding one of the dragons, rawr. And then I burn you. Mwahaha."
That pretty much started our passionate nonsensical dispute regarding the silly battle we had in this fictional universe where his "unmatched" intelligence eventually dethroned the Night King so now he's in control of the white walkers.
Around that same time, a new match I'd made asked me what I was looking for on Bumble and it made me wonder what Rollo was looking for, too, because his profile information was so bare.. No bio. No interests.. No specifics whether he was just there for something casual or a relationship. I mean, yeah, he did invite me to "netflix & chill" but perhaps with others, he'd want to pursue something more?
"What are you looking for here, Rolloliyo? Are you looking for a bad girl?" I playfully asked in a seductive voice.
"I'm looking for the one who can join the white walkin' army," he answered, then laughed. Continuing a little more seriously this time, he mumbled, "Looking for a bad girl.." He thought for a bit. "Are you bad at everything that you do? Is that the joke's gonna be?"
Ah, so cautious. "No, it wasn't a joke, Rolloliyo. It was a serious question. Hahaha. But if you're asking me if I'm a bad girl in that sense—in the sense that you're asking, then yeah, I think I am. I'm bad at a lot of things. I'm bad at.. I'm bad at working out. I'm bad at chess..."
"Oh wow, Blissetta. You're selling yourself soooo good here. Haha. Bad at working out, bad at chess.. Wowww, very good marketing."
"Are you going to buy it, then?"
"Am I gonna buy.." He laughed. "It depends how much the product is on sale for." His choice of words seemed to be so funny to utter for him by the way he was constantly interrupted with chortles at his mention of "how much", "product", and "on sale".
"HAHAHA," I cracked. "Ah, you know what? Just forget about the product. It's.. it's defective."
"Okay, the product is now discontinued so I won't be purchasing it."
The day I sent the selfie to Kaladin and that night when he responded to it (September 11), was, sadly, the last time I heard of him but with undwindling hope and patience, I waited. Notifications here and there, never coming from the man I longed for... Tss. It was always from somebody else. However, for Rollo's case, a slight change had occurred. What used to be disappointment when I'd get a ping from him was curiously now replaced with a smile on my face. I have to say I was beginning to grow.. somehow fond of him because he turned out to be equally frolicsome. I especially had so many laughs when he asked me what's "thank you" in our language and I told him two words in our tongue which translates to "I love you". (Prior to that, see, he told me he "hated" me because my "sarcasm" knows no boundaries). My, but it was absolutely hilarious the way he pronounced it!
"Now, say it this time in a gentle and affectionate way so we can really feel your gratitude," my elfishness was patiently saying, accenting theatrical emphasis on the italicised words as if I was a drama instructor.
Then the fool began saying it multiple times in different tones. None of them sounded affectionate at all although the 2nd one wasn't so bad.
"Now say it to another local girl," I told him, keeping my laughter suppressed as I recorded myself.
"Okay? I'll say it to another local girl. I love you (originally said from our tongue)."
Unable to hold it no longer, his cluelessness was so hilarious that I literally laughed out loud. "Oh my lord," I ejaculated in complete amusement. "You're too cute, Rollo," I said in between giggles. "Tell me what they say."
That was when he took a deep sigh, finally suspecting something wasn't right. "Blissetta.." he started. "What are you making me say? Cos it obviously ain't thank you by your reaction. What. Am. I. Saying?" he demanded, the hard "g" from the word "saying" lingering around his audio message for a second or two. (I've come to really like how the Brummies pronounce the hard "g" in some words ending in "ng".)
"You ARE saying 'thank you'," I masterfully insisted. "It's just that, it's so cute when foreign people try to speak our language." I gave a slight chuckle not because I was lying but because that part was true and thinking about it so tickled my amusement again. "So... so cute. Everything you say, just... adorable."
"Wow.. Blissetta." A pause. "No, seriously. What am I saying? Am I saying something like I'm an idiot or I'm ugly or something. Cos you seem to be laughing far too much."
He sent that message at almost midnight and I decided to answer him the next day, 14th of September. (Still no reply from Kaladin.)
"Because it's too cute and no, you're not saying any of those things nor any of that kind."
A profound sigh was apparent in his recording once more. "I googled it this morning. It wasn't thank you, it was something else." What started to be a grave-sounding message was involuntarily disrupted by a chortle in the midst of his last two words. "You had me saying something.. different." He laughed again, clearly embarrassed of what he had done.
"Oh, okay. You googled it. HAHAHA."
Took him long enough, though. LOL.
"But, did you say it to another local girl? What did they say?" I really wished he did...
"Yes, Google Translate helped me out and no, I didn't get to say it to anybody else, thankfully. Imagine I said it to, like, I don't know.. a waiter or something. They'd think I'm crazy."
Me: "Hahahaha. That's what I was hoping for."
Him: "Luckily, my injury kept me from seeing anybody."
Me: "Damn injury."
Him: "Yeah, it sucksssssss."
"Happy Birthday."
"What's my present, Blissetta? Where's my present?"
"Me," was my brief response. "My friendship. Hahaha." Then in a poor imitation of a theatrical accent, I said: "Oh, Rolloliyo. Rolloliyo. My dear Rolloliyo."
"Wow, Blissetta." By the tone of his voice, it was already obvious what he was about to say was going to be overflowing with sarcasm. "Blissetta," he said once more as though to himself. "That's my birthday present. Blissetta's my birthday present. Woowww, so coool."
"You have to admit your life has never been better now that I'm here. Now that I'm here to shine a light to your... darkness. Hahaha. Wait, what? There's no 'my dear' in 'Blissetta'? How dare you? I said 'my dear Rollo', you never said.." I fake-sobbed. "You wound me, Rolloliyo."
"Oh, yeah, definitely. My life has NEVER BEEN better since sending these audio messages over Bumble, MY DEAR Blissetta, etta, etta, eh, eh, eh."
I blinked. "Okay... That's the closest bit of you singing," I remarked after realising he was saying my name in the tune of Rihanna's song "Umbrella". (Little did I know, that was just the start of how far the evolution of my name would go.)
"Uhm.." I continued. "Well.. Rolloliyo, one of these days, I'll show up at your door wrapped in.. wrapped in... a wrapper. Hahaha. Inside a box, and.. with, with a ribbon. As a present."
"Oooh!" came his voice of definite wonderment. "Wow, Blissetta. Wow. When can I expect this box that has.. you, and a ribbon, within the box, outside my door?" he interrogated, thoroughly entertained by the idea.
"On your birthday."
"Yeahhh? Blissetta? And you said happy birthday to me today; thus, ergo, hence—today MUST BE my birthday, Blissetta, and I haven't received a cardboard box yet."
"Are you sure it's today? Like, did I get the date right?" I asked in genuine curiosity.
"Well, Blissetta, you said happy birthday to me today so it MUST BE my birthday today. If you said happy birthday, that could only be the logical conclusion that we could deduce from saying such things as you saying the words happy birthday; thus, ergo, hence—why is my present not here?"
"Aww, Rolloliyo.. So excited to get his present! The day isn't even over yet. There's still plenty of time."
"Yeah, the day ain't over yet so I'll be waiting at my door, all day, until 12 o'clock tonight, waiting for the knock at the door," came his obstinate affectation of patience.
"Joking aside," I commenced, "I've actually been meaning to show up at your door. Like, for days now because it's really hot here and it would be cool to hang out in a... in an air-conditioned place but it's just that.. You see, Rollo, I'm so LAZY," I further explained.
"Okay, Blissetta. Well.. the day you decide not to be lazy, I will surely still be here, with the air-conditioning running more than likely.. Yeah. Hahaha."
"And you teach me chess, right? Like, do you actually have a real chessboard?"
He snorted. (When he laughs, it usually comes with a snort which to me sounds really droll and oddly enough, amiable, even with his sarcastic nature.) "No, I don't carry around a chessboard with me. Haha. Just have to download the app, uhh, on the appstore for free. Hahaha. Blissetta, I DO NOT carry a chessboard around a foreign land with me."
"Oh my god," I uttered in undisguised disappointment. "You misled me, Rollo. But I'd like to play on a real chessboard!" So I can throw the pieces at you.
"Oh my god, Blissetta. I cannot believe you got led down the wrong road and are now misled about chess. Obviously, I don't—" (a chortle jumped out from his nose, interrupting his flow as he resumed to explain) "—bring around a FUNNY-SIZED chessboard with me. Unfortunately, we'll just have to play it on our phones."
In between that discussion, I asked for his local phone number so I could text him when I'd be out to finally pay him a visit because my shitty phone could scarcely connect to data now so I would most likely not be able to use Bumble to communicate with him.
"Well, what else can we do over there? Your hotel room has a TV, right?" By this moment, the thought of finding myself in his abode was getting more and more foreseeable in the near future.
"Yes, I have a TV which I've not used, and... There's other things we can do—OF COURSEEE, Blissetta."
All of a sudden, a strange fear and excitement rose from my sentiments the moment he heavily dropped the words "of course"—which sounded very much suggestive of, well, inappropriate things frightful enough to make me squirm like an innocent 17-year-old virgin.
"Why am I scared of those.. other things?" I voiced out in a rather timid approach, accompanying it with a small sheepish laughter. Bringing forth a sanguine temperament, I suggested: "Oh yeah, there's plenty of other things we can do, uhm.. We can sing, and dance, and cook, clean.." (I dreadfully didn't want to cook or clean at all.) "Haha. Or we can just... Or I can just peacefully sleep."
"Wow, Blissetta. Sounds so much fun," he commented with zero enthusiasm. "Can't wait. All them things sound sooo fun."
"Well I'm just there for the air-conditioner."
"Hahaha. Wow, you're just here for the air-conditioner. Ouch."
"Oh, don't feel bad, Rolloliyo. I'll only be there for the air-conditioner 75%. The rest is you."
"Dammnnn! Only 25%.. ouch. Ouch, ouch, OUCH!"
"HEY, you should consider the risk that I'm taking just by showing up at your door, OK? Because who knows, Rolloliyo. You might really be a white walker so intent on killing me! Hahaha. Oh, by the way. I have a question. Have you ever hit a girl? And have you ever punched anyone? Have ever been in a fight.. something like that."
"Holy... shit. What are these questions.." He seemed thoroughly dumbfounded by what slapped his ears but nonetheless gave an answer. "Hahaha. No, I've never hit a woman. And.. have I punched somebody, uhm, in like a street fight, no. But I used to do, like, kickboxing so... if you count that as punching, but that was just training, and I never had a kickboxing fight, it was just training once a week, so... Only you can decide if I had a fight or not."
I chuckled from a mixture of amusement and somehow satisfaction with what I heard. "Alright, alright. All good."
"Why? Have you ever hit a man? Or punched a man?" The thought of this seemed to be so comical to him by the way he gave off his signature snort, a sound I came to be so familiar with now.
I muffled a light laugh myself. "Rolloliyo, even if I do that, you won't feel a thing. I'm really little, uhm, I'm only 80 pounds, so whatever I throw at you, it's just like.. I don't know, probably a bite of a mosquito."
"WHAT? You're 80 pounds?" blurted his intense astonishment. "There's no way you're 80 pounds," he continued in utter disbelief. "There's no way you're 80 pounds. You're not that small, surely."
"Haha. More than 80 pounds, probably, but.. around there. I mean, have you seen my height?"
"Well, cos your pictures are so BLURREH, I can't really tell, but.. yeah. I mean, yeah. You seem to be five foot, I mean, five feet.. Something like that. Yeah, you're small. Haha."
"And how much do you weigh, if I may ask?"
"I weigh 81 kilos, 80 kilos.. Idk what it is in pounds."
Then our conversation shifted to our names, whether or not we were really using our real names on the dating app. He was, I wasn't; which was then followed with my disclosure of how I didn't want to be recognized by anyone who knows me in real life on platforms like that because I already saw a classmate once and it was weird.
"Ooh, so the nickname and now the really blurreh, bad pictures make sense," he concluded.
"So why did you even swipe right on me, then?" I demanded when he kept insisting my pictures were "blurreh" after I told him they looked fine from my phone.
"I swiped right because you said you are basically a killer of spiders, so..." He laughed in amusement which rang with mischievous mockery.
My profile included one of those finish-me sentences which says: "As a child, I was really into…" and I continued it with "hunting spiders" because I truly did enjoy hunting spiders when I was a kid. It was mean but I was a stupid child.
"I don't kill them," I corrected him in a matter-of-fact way. "I mean, I used to hunt them and then make them kill each other."
"Now, I am VERY worried that I swiped right on you."
"Oh, pish posh. I don't do that anymore."
The next day, 15th September, we didn't talk very much. We just had a few confab about spiders in continuance from the previous night, how he was terrified of them, which led me to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" remixed with Rihanna's song "Umbrella" because somehow, I managed to make a "connection" out of everything that was happening.
"Itsy Bitsy spider, went up the water spout. Drowned by the rain because she's got no umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh!"
I actually got the remix from the juvenile book "Dork Diaries" but it didn't impress Rollo at all. In fact, now that I thought of it, he never said anything nice about my voice. I think he's the only one there who didn't make a pleasant comment about my singing because sometimes, I just randomly send recordings of me singing there and whereas others would go: "Wow, you have a really nice voice." His reaction, on the other hand, was: "Wow. Thank you, Blissetta. My ears are now bleeding a lot."
Which was exactly what he said after my remix. Grr.
The next day, I was actually prepared to meet him in person because I had a business to do somewhere, meaning I'd be dressed up, so I wanted to take advantage of the occasion and hit two birds with one stone. Kaladin not getting back to me for five days now still saddened me and Rollo was this cute little distraction that somehow cheered me up (including that German dude whom I also had been talking to frequently). However, Rollo only got back to my messages in the evening because he had a lot of things to do like booking tickets to go back to England, sorting out a few presents for family members, work...
"So... sorry about that."
"Aww, it's okay," I reassured. "I was supposed to deliver your package this afternoon, but.. Hahaha. You seemed to have a very busy day so it's all good."
"Well, why didn't you just turn up? And say to the security: 'I'm here to meet Rollo, to give him his birthday present.'"
"Because I didn't want to disturb you in case you were busy and it turns out you were, sooo.."
"Hmmmmmmmmmm.." He hummed for a long time as if trying to find a flaw in my reasoning, but I was making a very valid point so he just proceeded to sing my name (Blissetta, etta, etta, eh, eh, eh) as though a filler to what could've been a long silence, before he found the words to say next. "Yeah, but you should just took the risk. Uhm, aka-ak ek ek ah yugi, so.. yakayak la malls wat ar yuieben over hir?"
I legit had to listen to that recording of his five times. "What?! Was that English?"
"I was basically asking why was you over this side of the city today because I thought you said you wasn't really close to this area."
"Because I'm obviously CRAZY about you, Rolloliyo. I will do ANYTHING to get closer to you." I laughed. "Nah, I told you I was processing some documents and after I went to the government office, I didn't feel like going home yet so I thought: Hmm, what if I drop by? So I messaged you and you didn't answer so I waited for a couple of minutes and then I just went somewhere else. And then I went home. Such a shame, Rolloliyo. We could've been hanging out in your room right about now. HA-HA-HA-HA."
His voice funnily dropped some energy as he said, "Oh yeah, hanging out.. What were all the fun things you wanted to do again? They sounded sooo much fun."
"Oh, you know. Just doing our own thing. Like, you can pretend that I'm not there so you can continue—ohh, yes, you can continue... You can continue whatever it is that you're doing without even paying attention to me because I'm fine with that."
"Wow. Sounds so much fun, Blissetta." By this point, his sarcasm just completely lost its usual spirit and humour.
"Well, what are the kind of things you want to do, Rolloliyo?" I queried, getting a tad bit frustrated myself. "Spill. Spill the beans. Since you're the fun guy. You know all the fun things."
My ears were then met by that stupid snorting laugh of his and I was really glad to hear it again as his habitual sarcastic energy appeared to have been ressurected when he teased me once more with all of my "fun" suggestions. "Yeah, what you said was so much fun, Blissetta. YEAH, let's do all them things, all that you mentioned. They sound sooo much fun. Hahaha."
"No, no. Let's hear yours. I want to hear yours. I want to hear your ideas," I insisted, which for some reason, brought so much laughter from him.
"HAHAHA. No, obviously what you said, uhh, Blissetta. Obviously they sound so much fun, like, wow. My 28 years on this planet, I'm gonna have more fun in my life."
I was beginning to get annoyed at how he just kept repeating himself and not providing me any answer at all until I've just had enough of it when his laughter got louder each time I nagged him about it. "Hang you, Rolloliyo. What is your last name again?"
"Why do you wanna know my last name? Are you already imagining changing your last name to my last name? Well, my last name is Lothbrok."
"And how do you spell that? And your name is just Rollo? No second name like, Rollo Kangaroo or something."
"I just told you what my second name is. Rollo Lothbrok. My second name is Lothbrok. What are you on about?" Then he commenced spelling it.
"You know, a second name like, John Michael Lothbrok. Lothbrok is the last name and Michael is the second name," I explained. "So it's just Rollo, then. Rollo Lothbrok. Well you're dead now," I declared.
"Why am I dead, Blissetta?"
"Because I'm a Deathnote holder."
"Hmm.. Okay. Kinda weird."
"Ah, you don't know about it," said I in a low tone, slightly disappointed. "You know nothing, Jon Snow."
"I know EVERYTHINGGG. I am WIKIPEDIAAA, Blisetta-etta."
A short while later, he asked if I had Instagram because he was sick of Bumble. I actually returned to Instagram some months ago and posted some stuff but deactivated it again not too long after. I don't know.. After years of not being on that kind of social media and then suddenly being bombarded with posts from your old friends and classmates on your home feed, it somewhat overwhelmed me. I didn't want to see whatever's new in their lives because I have the tendency to compare it with mine and it's just altogether bad for my mental health. However, for Rollo, I activated it again because I wanted to… investigate. Is he a normal person? What is he like?
Quickly, I regretted that decision because I saw more pictures of him and he was… attractive. I mean, of course he is attractive. I wouldn't have swiped right on him if I didn't think he was, but you see, he only got two pictures on his Bumble account and in both, he wasn't facing right in front of the camera. He did send a selfie of him, the one where I realised he was a Viking, and he definitely looked handsome there, but.. seeing how he was on Instagram just killed my confidence altogether and I was annoyed at myself for even going back to that platform. What's even more annoying is that I can't deactivate it just as easily as before; I have to wait now for a week to do so. Tss. I used to not care about showing up in front of his door but now that I was seeing photographs of him in social settings with beautiful people, I got intimidated again. Is he really an introvert? His latest post is a picture of him at the sea in one of the islands here and with him are several locals—including children—lined up and smiling for the photograph. The caption said it was his newly adopted family from this country. Hmm.. The bastard is friendly, then? Lmfao. Moreover, his friends are all fit and gorgeous. You can easily tell they're one of those bunch who really like hitting the gym. Them gathered around in one picture seem to bring truth in the saying: "Cute boys hang out with cute friends."
I also regretted not hiding the posts that showed myself before accepting his follow request because my pictures on Instagram are quite.. daring. So different from how I presented myself on Bumble. I told you before I intentionally set-up nerdy mediocre pictures of myself on that dating app so when they'd meet me in person, the disappointment one feels when what they picture out to be doesn't meet their expectations—becomes less likely because they have no image of me in my most glamorous form to compare my real awkward self with. But now, he'd seen me in a bathing attire—my body posed and angled to capture that perfect hourglass shape. And then a beautiful pic of me in a flowy coachella dress, my hair done in curls, all made prettier with a filter.. So different from my Bumble photo where I wore glasses and had an awkward pose, not to mention the one where my cat was pushing my face away and I looked slightly annoyed.
Ahh.. I will BE DISAPPOINTING in person now, I was sure of it.
However, even when I had my insta reactivated, I still asked if he had Telegram because I just really prefer Telegram. Thankfully, he had the app even though he barely used it. So I hit him up there with a voice message, saying: "Rolloliyo?" But, I don't know.. The transfer accumulated a different vibe and we didn't converse at all. He just replied with another audio note where he sang my name (Blissetta, etta, eh, eh, eh, eh!) and then I sent an angry sticker of Gollum in which he commented with: "Looks like you". And then I sent another sticker this time of an enraged hooded skeleton slapping an angel.. I'm telling you, the interest died down. My interest died down. Our playful chemistry died down.. And I blame it on Instagram. I blame it on the switch. We should've stayed on Bumble..
I slowly accepted that was the vanishing point of our, err.. "online acquaintance", and although it didn't suck as much as with Kaladin, it still sucked nonetheless. However, I still spent my night the way I always did for the past two weeks and phoned the German on Telegram. That had been my routine for quite some time: call him in bed before I sleep, talk about whatever, and keep the line open even when no one is saying anything until I finally doze off.
After the awkward vibe which amassed from switching to a different messaging app that night, not to mention the fall of my confidence upon seeing attractive photographs of Rollo on Instagram, I was convinced the idea of him and I hanging out together was finished, gone into the wind. However, in the afternoon that followed (17th September), when I woke up, I received a message from him on Telegram which said:
"Blissettttttaaaaaaaaaaaaa"—sent at 10 in the morning.
In audio, I replied with: "What up, Rollololiyo?"
"Not much, Blissettattatta, etta-etta, eh, eh, eh." (My name was completely murdered now cos it sounded like he was rapping it.) "What's up with you?"
"Still in bed," I replied in a sleepy drawl. "I woke up really early today to do some chores and then went back to sleep at.. I think it was around nine. And I woke up a couple of minutes ago."
"Ooooh. Wow, Blissetta. Haha. Sounds like such a fun Saturday. Sounds like you're having the BEST Saturday ever."
"I could say the same thing for you, too, Rolloliyo. You sound like you're having a blast with the way your voice is exploding with emotions and excitement," returned my equally sarcastic mood.
"Yeah, Blissetta." He chortled in that familiar cheeky air of his again, which honestly, I was quite jovial to hear. "I'm still waiting for my cardboard box to arrive, that's why I'm so... That's why my voice is so lacking in enjoyment and fulfilment cos I've been waiting for my cardboard box for... seems like 28 years now."
I didn't realise I was smiling the entire time he so casually spoke of me as a cardboard box despite the sleepiness I invariably feel every time I wake up. It didn't die, then? It was just all in my head?
"Aww. Yeah, I know. It's a shame. It was supposed to be at your door yesterday, but.." I chuckled, my scattered brain too tired to finish off the sentence. "I mean, I'm sure you've had plenty of cardboard boxes in your 28 years of existence here in my country. I mean, in the world. No?"
"Actually, you would be wrong. I have had ZERO cardboard boxes in this country," he admitted with a laugh himself. "So, yeah. ZERO."
"Nooo. I meant in your whole life. Haha. Because you claim to be sooo much fun, you know a lot of fun things in the world, so that means you've got lots of cardboard boxes in your existence," I pressed, thoroughly glad now that the "awkwardness" I perceived from last night was probably just me and my over-analysing tendencies. Not to mention my failure to consider it was past 11 in the evening when I hit him up on Telegram, the latest hour he could engage with my boredom, from what I noticed. (Never had I ever talked to him after midnight.)
He chuckled. "Well, I heard you say your country and in your country, I've had zero cardboard boxes. However, in my lifetime, I'm not too sure. Because.. if it's a lot or not, that's a very subjective thing to say, uhm.. So, yeah. However, I'm not THE fun one. YOU'RE the fun one with all your fun things that you suggested that we do." He laughed again.
"I mean it is. Sleeping is fun. It's my favourite activity. Like I'm so good in bed, I could sleep for 48 hours straight. Haha."
"Oh, so you're only good in bed at sleeping, then. Haha."
"Yeah. Very, very good. Well, open the door now, Rolloliyo, your package is here," I ordered in a tone resembling that of a peremptory mistress whilst I lay still so comfortably in bed.
"Tell me why I actually looked through the peephole of my door thinking it was there."
This made my face burst with laughter as I imagined the scenario in my head. Keeping a serious voice, I pursued: "Did you look at the floor? Cos it's really small."
"Yeah, I looked absolutely everywhere. Couldn't find it. Couldn't see it."
"Which level is your room, then?"
"The level of my room is on.. LEVEL 16!"
"Level 16.." I noted. "Okay. Hahaha. What do you see outside your window?" By this point, I was already mentally preparing myself to actually and finally meet him in person. For certain now. The drop of my confidence from last night slowly resurfaced accompanied this time by slight indifference because who cares, anyway? It wasn't like I was ever going to meet him again. (Ah, I just love it when I'm guided with a nonchalant mentality. It's like a rescue team for my dreadfully dropped self-esteem which makes me a tad bit bolder.)
He sent a picture of what he could see from his window. Buildings, a pool.. The typical business district.
Then I told him I was going to the malls near his place and asked: "Do you want me to drop by?"
"What are you going to be doing at the malls, Blissetta?"
"I've a date."
"Wowww. Hahaha. Am I the back-up plan, then.. Uhm…" I've become so accustomed to his good-humoured sarcasm that it was almost strange to hear him say something in an earnest voice when he added: "Nah, you enjoy your day. Okay?" His thoughtful tone I don't hear often rather had a gentle and refreshing ring to it.
"Well, you never asked me out!" I retorted, then chuckled. "Nah, I'm just going to meet-up with a friend and return something that's been borrowed."
"You've broken my heart now, Blissetta, etta, etta, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh..." said he, his voice lowering in pitch with each 'eh' that followed. Breathing a hiss, he went on: "I'm gonna have to cry myself to sleep tonight, and then tomorrow night, and then Monday, and then Tuesday, and then Wednesday, and then Thursday, and then Friday, and then Saturday and Sunday, and so on, so on, so on..."
I was quite surprised by what I heard. "What? You have a heart?"
"Of course I have a heart! What do you mean? Haha. How do you think blood pumps around my body?"
Around 5pm, I gave him a reply and wrote: "Hahahahaha. Baka, I'm heading there now."
Through audio, he asked: "What does baka mean?"
Me: "Idiot. DO YOU WANT THE PRESENT TODAY OR WHAT."
Him: "Damn, you’re mean :((((("
(I wonder if he realised I was giving the meaning of baka when I wrote the word idiot. It's a popular Japanese word I got from anime and it always has a playful element to me when used to call someone "stupid". Reading the text I sent him, however, did make me sound awfully mean..)
Him: "Nah, if you’re bringing your friend, no present 🥱"
Me: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA. You're shy?"
Him: "Nah, not shy. Lol. I just dunno who your friend is. Hahahaha."
Me: "Hahahahaha. I'm not bringing herrrrr, she's with her family."
Him: "Bro 🤣, you said you was going mall with her so I assumed you was the other day saying about I'm bringing a friend to meet you, etc, etc, etc."
Me: "AHAHAHAHAHA. No, I'm not bringing her. Let's just play it like this. Meet me outside the building. We don't approach each other, we just look. And if you don't want us to hang out, you run away. Hahahahaha. And vice versa."
Him: "You are confusing 🤣 Omg, how old are we, 12 years of age."
He was the confusing one! I thought he wanted to chill together and now it seemed as if he was trying to evade that possibility now.
Me: "Sighhhhhh. We're never ever going to see each other, are we 🤣🤣"
Him: "Sighhhhhhhhh. Yeahhhhhhhh, sure we are."
Me: "Make up your mind cos I'm almost thereeee in the malls. Next week, I'm gonna be busy." (Lmfao. This was a bluff.)
Him: "Well, my tailbone is still sore so I ain't gonna be much fun. Lol. I just ordered food so how long you gonna be in the malls for?"
(And the bluff worked. Wink, wink.)
Me: "Idk. Maybe before 7."
Him: "Coooool, let me know then."
When I typed all that, I was actually still at home preparing myself. No friends to meet up with, no something borrowed to be returned.. For some reason, I just needed a false activity to use as an alibi to drop by at Rollo's place to not make it seem like I went out solely just to meet him. Kaladin had completely ghosted me now and I was bored and restless and just wanted to be somewhere else.
For some minutes, the sky started pouring and so seldom does it vex me when it rains but at that moment, I was. The thought of a flood dreaded me so, which, to my annoyance, would evidently severe my plans I was already prepared for. Graciously, the rain calmed down into a drizzle mild enough for me to walk around without an umbrella.
So there it went. After ten days since the first message I sent the British gentleman, after all the humour and discussion of hanging out together—the banters and the playful jeers that came with it, I was, at last, on my way to realise what used to be just an idea of chilling together—finally be a real life memory to be remembered.