Dear Diary, I think my parents are not sure about my marriage proposal.
Anyway, recently I've been thinking about my regrets during my last relationship. I couldn't stop remembering how he made me feel worthless and how I didn't speak for myself. I really wish I could've ended the relationship sooner. I really wish I didn't ignore red flags.
And today while kay was speaking to me, we discussed about the pet names we have. When I told about mine, he asked if I named myself or my parents did it. Yea, I know, my pet name is cheesy. I was hurt. Why would I name myself with cheesy names? Do I look so immature and like a moron? I shared too many details about me. Now I think he's being judgemental about me. Idk. Sometimes he's being snarky and pretending it's like some funny thing.
I should've guessed that sharing too much makes us vulnerable and prone to judgements.
I honestly think I'm not a judgy person. Maybe I can't accept every shit. But I keep my opinions for myself cuz other's shit is none of business. I feel like I should avoid him.
The only non judgy person in my life is my sister and buddy. Buddy is the best friend I've ever got. I miss them both. They are not with me right now.